I'm just on a quest to find a heavenly blessed beauty. If you are a sea creature, you'll save yourself some time, if you just stop reading here and move on to your next prey. “Shallow” is just a word unmotivated, judemental people made up so they could sit on their ass all day and not put any effort into life. Now, if you are an aesthetically pleasing heavenly blessed beauty who cares about your body and health, feel free to continue. The quickest way to get my pants off is to make me a sandwich, being naked while doing this is also a plus. You say douchebag, I say honest. Cest la'vie. If you think you fit this, feel free to send me a message. Don't delegate me into the meat-head category and take note of all the sarcasm. If you don't pick up on it, you're, well... I'm employed in the great city of Des Moines by day, while at night I'll do a Hannah Montana-type transformation into your typical suave woman seducer. I plan on learning everything there is to know about anything so that eventually when people want to ask a question, they come to me instead of using Google. I also want to do a lot of traveling, not only to famous places like Italy or France, but to those countries that only a few people have even heard of. Seriously, how many people do you know that can truthfully say that they have been to Azerbaijan or Saychelles? Basically, I party like its 1999. I am America’s next top model. I never sweat. My strengths outweigh my weaknesses. I am constantly caller number 9 and win tickets to all the best shows. I bowl 350. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I’m a stellar hugger and a world-class fuck. I dance with the stars. I consistently beat Chuck Norris in arm-wrestling. I once read Paradise Lost, the Odyssey and War & Peace all in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I shower daily. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. Sushi is my favorite food group. I bake 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes flat. Moms love me and ren want to be me. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. I always pick the fullest and most symmetrical Christmas trees. On Wednesdays, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I eat soup. I am a go-getter. I sleep once a day. Basically...I rock.