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Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
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The Shitbox
Posted:Jun 24, 2020 5:28 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2020 3:12 am
8129 Views

Went to the gym tonight even though my legs were a little sore....

Now I'm totally whipped.

Stuck to the treadmill tonight as I don't think my thighs could take another day on the elliptical... I'm surprised I made it through 40 minutes doing the treadmill on the fat burn setting.

It felt good though, when I was done.

It's a sense of accomplishment, in a way. Before you know it, it's in the cool down portion and you're thinking....

Damn! I did it!!

But, the true highlight to my evening happened on my way home from the gym.

I was nearing main street when a white jeep with the word 'Shitbox' plastered to the back window cut me off.

True story....

On the other side of the back window, it said 'If you hit my car while my baby is on board I will beat your ass until the cops show up'

Uh... yah.

I'd like to see that. The driver looked like a 90 lb crack head, in her left hand was a can of Monster and a lit cigarette.

I'm more concerned about this baby surviving its mother than I am concerned about it surviving a hit to the Shitbox.

are resilient, though, and I am proof. I came from a mother just like that.
22 Comments
Tonight at the gym....
Posted:Jun 23, 2020 4:23 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2020 3:19 am
7557 Views

Yes folks, that is correct!

The gym is open at long last and I have returned. For the first time since March 17th, I walked on a treadmill and spent some time on the elliptical.

I'm pretty sure I want to die at this moment... But it was so worth it as I have missed my gym time SO much.

It's a good feeling! Not even worried about the Gym Stalker being there on my very first day back.

Ugh...

He tried contacting me on here not that long ago... I reminded him that things didn't work out the first time around, to which he apologized and said he'd made a lot of changes in his life.

Wondered if he could try it again.

It was definitely a case of same but different....

Instead of a wife, he now has a live in girlfriend. Instead of living two towns over, he now lives in my town. And instead of working for a manufacturing facility he is now self employed.

When I asked him what he was looking for, he had stated someone he could spend time with and have a conversation.

Forgive me if I'm wrong.... But..... Isn't that what the live in girlfriend is for??

My guess is, he is not being satisfied sexually by the girlfriend. He's really just looking for someone to hook up with from time to time and it really doesn't matter if she is smart or has the ability to carry on a conversation.

If he gets his way, the only words spoken aloud will be "oh God", "don't stop", and "harder".

So, yah, I passed on that opportunity. I think I'd like to find something a little more meaningful this time around.
32 Comments
Oh, coffee.... You elixer to the Gods.
Posted:Jun 23, 2020 3:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2020 6:06 pm
10194 Views

I'm experiencing a rough one this morning, folks.

I had a bad dream last night and woke up around midnight, staying up for most of the night.

I hate it when this happens....

Because, when I finally do fall asleep, I'm so fucking tired when it's time to get up again. I ended up hitting snooze 3 times and still lay in bed for another ten minutes with my eyes shut.

Ugh....

Now I have absolutely no motivation, whatsoever. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of this rainy day.

It's rainy, and muggy, and I'm tired, and the meaning of life is in question right now....

Wish me luck.
43 Comments
Thank God for small miracles.
Posted:Jun 22, 2020 3:50 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2020 2:45 pm
6646 Views

My work BFF was able to get me an appointment to get my hair cut this Thursday.

I am beyond happy.

When I was complaining last week that I couldn't get in to my normal stylist until the 30th he had told me his friend/neighbor was a stylist and he would check with her to see if she had any openings.

As luck would have it, she did!

After Thursday, I'll be a Chewbacca no more...

Nose Hairs was acting a little weird today, he doesn't like the work BFF and he gets a little weird acting when I'm working with him.

It's kind of an odd dynamic as the work BFF was literally the first friend I made when I had started my current job and I think I might have been the first friend Nose Hairs made when he started working with us...

But, they don't like each other.

Too much machismo and ego going on.... They both have that instinct to be top dog.
12 Comments
A page from the Dickhead Move Diary....
Posted:Jun 21, 2020 3:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2020 3:30 am
6360 Views

I wrote a post, not that long ago, about a guy who had sent a photo of himself taken in a public restroom.

If y'all remember, I had written him back, pointing the humor in bathroom selfies and pondered why guys felt it necessary that bathrooms are the ONLY place a selfie can be taken.

Nothing screams romance like a toilet and hand dryer!

He had NOT felt I was funny, had become insulted by my comment, and said some mean things back to me.

Fast forward to today.

Today I received a message from said Dickhead in my inbox. It was merely titled 'AgoraCosmopolitan Dating' and had the trusty little paper clip indicating it contained some kind of attachment.

Now, what in the heck could this guy possibly want? Did he forget he had already been in contact with me and I had managed to bruise his ego?

Nope....

It was merely a picture of what I can only assume was his penis inside another woman's vagina.

That's right folks!!

I am now devastated!! It could be MY vagina he's sending all over the internet and I BLEW my chance!! I may never recover from my loss.....

I'll be honest, I don't quite understand the point of the message. Was it to prove to me he could get some pussy with the tacky photo? Probably.... Do I really care, not really. The fact that he sent me that pic, in itself, proves to me, he wasn't worth my time or deserved body.
27 Comments
What's that smell??
Posted:Jun 20, 2020 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2020 3:01 pm
6089 Views

I'd been telling the Spawn for a couple of weeks remove of her shoes from the car as a low-grade stench was starting emanate from the back hatch.

I was certain it was coming from her stinky tennis shoes.

Imagine my embarrassment and horror discover, today, it was coming from a walmart bag with the remnants of some kind of food in it.

I wanted to die.

"OMG! I think I know where the smell is coming from!" I was putting the chairs in the back of the car as we were getting ready to leave Lake Michigan when a plastic walmart bag hooked one of the chair legs.

"Sure... My shoes stink... I told you it wasn't my shoes!" Of COURSE the Spawn was present to see my discovery.

" Good Lord... What was in that bag??" At some point, I must have missed a bag when I was bringing in groceries, and there it sat, undiscovered until now.

"The first thing we do when we leave here, is find a garbage." I don't think I've seen the Spawn more serious in my life.

The bag had been tucked away under a blanket I keep in the back hatch in case of emergency....

So, there it sat, fermenting away in it's own decomposing heat, for however long it was there, buried beneath stadium chairs and pool noodles.

Fantastic
18 Comments
Meanwhile at the beach....
Posted:Jun 19, 2020 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2020 3:02 pm
5050 Views

The Spawn and I went to the beach again tonight.

There is nothing I love more than feeling the sun on my skin while I splash around in the water, attempting to do hand stands and teach the Spawn to swim. I am truly that crazy adult you see in the water playing with the while everyone else is working on the bronze....

That is, until my fingers get pruney.

I do NOT like that feeling. The moment I feel the prune coming on, it's shore time for me.

We were headed up to shore to perch our butts in our chairs when I noticed the Beer Gut guy staring at us.

"Let's use the stairs."

He was sitting right off the side path that led to our chairs.

"Why? Our chairs are right there?"

"That guy is staring at us, it's creeping me out."

"OMG, MOM!! Everyone creeps you out!"

I made her take the stairs with me, but, by the time we got to our chairs, Beer Gut Guy was in the water throwing a football back and forth with a couple of other guys. Every time he tossed the football, he looked in our direction. Every time he caught the football, he looked in our direction.

He was checking to make sure we were looking.

"Don't look now, but, I think you've got an admirer." The Spawn had noticed immediately.

"What are you talking about?" It's easier for me to just pretend I don't notice anything. Sometimes she'll just let it drop.

"Don't play coy with me... "

With a grunt, the Spawn got out of her chair, grabbed the floaty thing, and went back in the water.

Cue Beer Gut Guy

"Well that looks tasty." He was looking at a dead fish floating in the water, then looking up at me waiting for a response.

"Ew, is that a dead fish?" I could see the Spawn looking at him, making faces, from the corner of my eye.

"Makes me want to pull out the ole fishing pole..." Thankfully he was collecting his flip flops and chair and getting ready to leave. I could see the scowling eye of disapproval written all over the Spawn's face.

He was barely in his truck, getting ready to leave, when she ran back up to me.

"So, where'd your boyfriend go??" What a smug little shit.

"What boyfriend??"

"Really Mom? I can't take you anywhere....."

"Hey, I didn't do anything. I'm just sitting here in my old lady, polka dot, one piece bathing suit."

We chalked it up to my freak magnet and decided it was time to pick up dinner. The freak magnet will always be an unexplained mystery...
23 Comments
The Biggest Critic
Posted:Jun 19, 2020 2:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2020 3:54 pm
4796 Views

People with know, your will be your biggest critic.

They notice every flaw. They will verbalize their disgust at seeing you with an eye booger in the corner of your eye. They gasp in horror when you come home from work and they don't like what you wore.

Because, of course, they are the epitome of what's current.

I took the Spawn to the lake last night to cool off and relax. It was a field day for my biggest critic.

"Why are you wearing green eye shadow??" She was leaned forward, lips pursed in disgust.

"Why not? Looks good with my blue eyes." Actually, I wore a green shirt to work today and it looked nice with the eye shadow.

"It makes you look forty. " She was now openly scoffing, turning her face in a dramatic gesture of disapproval.

"That's great! Now I don't feel forty 6" I was being a smart ass, her expression was priceless and I started laugh.

"Just because you ARE in your forties doesn't mean you need look it!"

What a little shit!

TGIF
22 Comments
Wednesday Trivials
Posted:Jun 17, 2020 10:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2020 7:09 pm
3776 Views

I called my stylist make an appointment for a hair cut today..... The earliest they can get me in is June 30th. How do you know the person who normally cuts your hair has the talent? Everyone else had openings... After the Friar Tuck bangs from my last cut, I'm avoiding the other stylists altogether.

At work today I walked a group of coworkers who looked at and smiled at once. No.... That didn't make feel awkward at !! One of them said , "we were just talking about you. We were talking about how patient you are with everyone." Apparently the consensus was, I was a sweet person and good at my job. That made smile... And kind of made my day.

When I got home from work today the Spawn said to me, "Guess what I found today?" I didn't know, so I said, "What?" She replied with, "My dignity." I have no idea where this came from, but I laughed. This ....

The 2019 remade version of the movie 'Chucky' is absolutely terrible. There was nothing on TV so I decided to stream a movie tonight and happened upon this little gem on Prime. Good God.... It was so terrible I could not pull my eyes away from the train wreck. That's an hour of my life I'll never get back....

I am awake in the middle of the night, tonight, sitting in the middle of my bed. There is a movie streaming on my tv that I'm not watching and I'm sitting here posting about the trivial shit that happened to me during the course of the day today... Yet the one prevailing thought in the back of my mind tonight is, I think I'm ready for some change.
15 Comments
At some point, they fly the coop.
Posted:Jun 16, 2020 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2020 5:05 pm
3829 Views

My Middle called me at work yesterday... He was at the marine recruiting office and wanted to schedule a time for me to meet with the recruiter.

I wanted to just die.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I immediately said no. All I could see in my mind's eye was my tiny little boy smiling up at me on his first day of school. I heard him tell the recruiter I said no, the recruiter asked to speak with me.

"Hi, how are you today?"

"I've been better."

"You sound like you have concerns."

"Of course I have concerns. Look what is going on in the world right now..."

I told the recruiter I would meet with him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. When I stopped at my ex husband's house to pick up the Spawn, he was sitting on the deck with my Middle .

"I can't do it. I don't want him to go."

I cried, it was not a good scene. I don't know what had me more upset, the idea that he was going to be leaving me or the possibility that he could find himself out there in dangerous situations and I would not be there to protect him.

My ex husband did go... And, I know that eventually I will have to go to. I'm just having a hard time with it right now, even as I type this I'm teared up and feeling upset.

But, I told my today, that I support him no matter his decision.

I'm just not ready to set him free.

It was a conversation with one coworker in particular that helped me to come to terms with this. He had said that his was in the Marines and she just loved it. He had said it was one of the best things that had happened for her and even though she was not in the military anymore, she had developed friendships and bonds with people that continue to this day.

Does it ever get easier?
18 Comments
The White Trash Menagerie
Posted:Jun 15, 2020 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2020 3:34 pm
4048 Views

Today's installment of White Trash World was brought to you by 7-11.  

Cause, if she ain't toting a 2 year old drinking from a Big Gulp, she ain't quite white trash....

I see a lot in the course of my work day.

New employees who come, unprepared.  New employees who come, under dressed.  New employees who think they know everything, and they don't.

One thing I have never seen...  That is until today, is a new employee show up with her tiny sucking down a giant fountain pop.
  
"I had nobody to watch my , I hope you don't mind.  You said it only takes a half hour to do this, I just didn't want to pay someone to watch her for a half hour."

Are you fucking kidding me?

"This is technically a work day for you, so, no, I will not be able to onboard you today.  Because of safety reasons it is not approved to have small in the restricted areas of our back room."  

Tears.

Yah, we all know I have little sympathy for the Tears on Cue.

What on earth possesses a person to bring their young to something like this? 

And, what's with the excuse??  Either you DIDN'T have someone to watch her or you DID and you did not want to pay her???

Don't worry folks, it's an ongoing saga today. There is a part two to this episode!!

Once I had informed the new employee I would not be able to onboard her with her , suddenly her Mom was in the store and would be able to take her 'for a few minutes.'

Great... Can't wait to witness this train wreck!

We stood outside the offices for a few moments waiting for the mom to appear to take the .

Imagine my horror to discover the mom was, in fact, an old nemesis of mine. Once upon a time, not long after my divorce, I had briefly dated a guy that I had known for many years and considered a close friend. He had been going through a divorce at the same time and it just seemed like a natural progression. I started out already knowing this guy, and I knew I already like him as a person...

Or so I thought...

He wound up dumping me for this woman... White Trash Mom!! And he MARRIED her! I will never understand what she had that I did not... Maybe I just wasn't crass enough, or partied enough, or had babies having babies...

Who knows.....

But I wanted to just slap that fucking smug smile off her face the moment I saw it.

Instead, I excused myself and told the new employee she had 5 minutes to get things wrapped up and get the onboarding process started.

Good God...
22 Comments
And... She went on an adventure!
Posted:Jun 14, 2020 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2020 10:23 pm
3947 Views
It was a Jack Nicholson kinda day....

I had been feeling like a shut-in without a cat hoarding addiction when I decided just go.

Leave.

Get the HELL out of Dodge.

And, I went here.





I live near a lot of amazing stuff, most of the time I take it for granted. I'm going stop doing that.

If I hadn't ventured out this weekend, I would have never caught the live music performance at Mackinaw Crossings. I would have missed meeting the 900 year old drummer who couldn't remember my name and gave me a shout out from the stage.

"Thank you Gaylord!"

I would have missed seeing the sunset Sturgeon Bay while I swatted at the swarming mosquitoes and eventually ran for cover in my car. It was a beautiful, bright orange sunset with a buzzing black hue.... While I didn't get a photo of this particular sunset, I thought you might enjoy one that I took last summer.

Some things in life are just absolutely amazing.



Happy Sunday!
24 Comments
Morning
Posted:Jun 13, 2020 8:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2020 4:32 pm
4435 Views

She awakes alone... 

The warmth of the early morning sun gently bathes her face as she lays sprawled across her bed, sheets tangled about her legs and waist.  

Her fist thought of the day....  How beautiful the sun feels.

For a long moment she lays there, eyes closed, and wishes for the impossible, then prays for happiness.  She mulls over the day as she slowly opens her eyes.

A day full of possibilities!

The subtle hint of loneliness creeps in, like always, but she keeps it at bay...  

Untangling her legs, her pillow falls the floor as she stretches out, arms extended.  Her back cracks and a soft moan escapes her as her shoulder cracks as well.  

For a brief moment she is sad, she feels her age is catching with her and wonders if she squandered her youth.

Time get .
15 Comments

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