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Ramblings of the depraved.....
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Fun at the Beach
Posted:Sep 1, 2016 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2016 7:57 pm

The warmth of the sun caressed my body as the sound of waves rhythmically lapping the shore lulled me into a nearly intoxicated slumber.

So very relaxed.....

Struggling to open my heavy lids, I smiled at the sight of you approaching.

"There you are, I was wondering when you would get here," I had been lounging a while already, a beer or two already under my belt. Fine granules of beach sand clung to my skin, my ass hurt from the firmness of the sand beneath my beach towel.

"I told you I had to stop by the office and do a couple things before I could head out." I was pouting, you were playing right along. "How about if I make it up to you?"

"How do you plan to make it up to me?" A sly smile played across my lips as I peeked up at you from behind my sunglasses.

"Hmmmm....." Kneeling down next to me, you parted my thighs and gently caressed. "I was thinking maybe a cool swim and a nice dinner."

"OK," struggling to sit up, the combination of alcohol, sun, and sand was working it's wonders on me. I leaned against your chest and laughed at my awkwardness.

"Maybe I should just come down to your level," you chuckled back, taking your place next to me on the sand.

"You're going to get sand in your hair," leaning down, I gently kissed your lips and smoothed my hand across your chest.

"Sand in my hair is the least of my worries. I'm a little more concerned about sand in the OTHER places," your laughter echoed across the water.

"Let's go somewhere a little more.... Private." My body was aching to have you inside me.

"It can't get more private than this, it's just us out here," with an exaggerated sweep of your hand, you motioned to the empty beach.

Leaning down, I kissed you again, this time smoothing my hand down to your firming cock. Pulsing in my hand through the light fabric of your shorts, I lightly stroked your cock as I gently bit your lower lip.

"Take your suit off." Your voice was husky, demanding.

"What if someone comes?"

"Nobody is coming. Take it off."

Hesitant, I removed the bottom portion of my suit but left the top. In the blink of an eye you were already laying next to me, naked, erect cock anxiously awaiting me.

Taking one last, nervous gaze at the beach around us, I climbed astride you, the length of you disappearing inside me. My muscles tightened as I moaned a little, your hips involuntarily thrusting a little deeper inside me. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on your chest to catch my balance, the sand digging into my knees.

"You are a bad girl, aren't you."

"Shhhhh... "

Grinding my hips, I loved to have you deep inside me, the way it felt to have the head of your cock hitting my cervix, the arousal I achieved from having my clit rub against your skin.

Within minutes I moaned out in ecstasy, the excitement of it all hitting me hard.

"Thank God.... I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to hold out for you," your reply was throaty with lust, your hands held onto my hips, pulling desperately. With a low groan, your cock pulsed inside me as you held it deep and climaxed.

Easing from you slowly, I reclaimed my spot on the towel once again, legs aching, knees red with embedded beach sand.

"I think I'm ready for that swim."

"Yep, I think I am too. There's a whole lotta sand in my ass crack."

Lots of great ideas! Thanks so much for the input!

I was actually able to incorporate quite a few things.... Sex on the beach is definitely on my bucket list. Oddly enough, I dated a guy who lived 5 minutes from Lake Michigan and never got the opportunity to check that bad boy off my list, which means I was also able to incorporate a fantasy with a past lover as well.

I definitely need to expand my vocabulary again, and my writing is a little rough, but not bad for the first pass. It's been about 4 years since I've written anything. It felt kind of nice to get the old creative juices flowing.
I'm a little rusty....
Posted:Sep 1, 2016 6:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2016 7:19 pm

Writing is my forte, something I've always done well. It is my escape when life feels suffocating, my release when I am frustrated, an open dialogue when I feel the need to communicate.

I love to write.

Unfortunately, I've allowed that part of me to slip away.

Thankfully it is a craft that merely requires imagination and practice. Be prepared as I plan to practice here, from time to time.

I need a little audience participation today.

I'm looking for ideas on a short story. It can be any genre, as loose or as specific as you choose. The idea that piques my interest most gets chosen.

Thank you for your participation!
5 Things I Learned Today
Posted:Aug 31, 2016 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2016 12:09 am

1. It costs $150 to remove a skin tag from your body. How do I know this? An old couple came into the store today and filled me in on the various details of skin tag removal while showing me skin tags on the various parts of their body. Yes, I did say 'their'.

2. My disgusting neighbors who live across the hall have moved. Praise the lord!!!!

3. Do not leave your window open around a restless chicken. I stopped at my Ex-Husband's house to pick my up after work today and left my drivers side window open. When we went to leave, there sat the chicken, in the drivers seat, planning his escape.

4. I'm freaked out by dragonflies. My humiliating best happened today when I ran screaming from the front of the store after a dragonfly charged me. I swear it clipped my ear.

5. Chocolate fudge zucchini cake is fucking awesome! I may just have to attempt to make that one myself!
Awkward Moment of the Day
Posted:Aug 30, 2016 4:48 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2016 12:22 am

How was my day?

Let me tell you....

An old guy and his wife came into the store today. The wife went to look at soaps and the old guy just kind of wandered around for a while.

He looked a little bored so I approached him and asked him what I could help him find.

His response?

"This store always makes me feel so sexually aroused."

Um..... What????

My response?

"Oh My God..... Ok then.... On that note....." I turned and started to walk away, but he was following behind me. He then proceeded to tell me the reason he felt so sexually aroused was because of the smells.

I have felt uncomfortable sales moments before, but this one literally took the cake. I'm not sure what could ever manage to top that.
Um.... Cripes.
Posted:Aug 29, 2016 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 2:08 pm

That about sums up my day.

I started out with every intention of having a fun, spur of the moment road trip to Petoskey to see some sights and walk the downtown business district.

Six hours later I was collapsed on a park bench with sweat beading up on my forehead, hair frizzed out into humidity knots, and pizza sauce all over my white tank top.

Attractive? I was not.

Even the Pokemon hunters were going out of their way to avoid the bench where I was sitting.

I have to hand it to the Mormon girls who stopped to recruit me. Apparently they aren't scared of anything!
Feeling a little blue today.
Posted:Aug 29, 2016 1:19 am
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2016 12:34 am

My grandmother who raised me would have been 84 on the 27th.

I miss her every day.

She died of cancer when I was 20, I have never really been the same since. Anyone who has lost a parent knows this sorrow. They build you up when you are feeling down, they bring you happiness when you are sad, they are the backbone when you are weak....

She CHOSE to do this for me when my own parents chose not to.

I know you are probably thinking this is the reason why I'm feeling depressed today, but it is not.

I feel depressed because my dad's birthday was on the 28th. My dad who is still alive and well..... My dad who has not been a part of my life since I was 9 years old. When I was a I would cry because he left my brother and I with our crazy mother and wished often that he would come save us.

I'm sure you can guess he never did.

I take comfort in the fact that today is a new day, and I can put those thoughts behind me.
Dumpster Diving Ettiquette
Posted:Aug 27, 2016 7:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2016 6:42 pm

The Do's and Don'ts of Dumpster Diving

-DO wait until the store is closed and the employees have left.
-DO make sure you wear gloves or some kind of protective gear.
-DO have help to get IN and OUT of the dumpster.

-DO NOT dumpster dive after dark.
-DO NOT scare the shit out of employees as they attempt to throw out the garbage.
-DO NOT ask the employees to help you out of the dumpster.

An old man popped out of the dumpster tonight when I attempted to throw out the garbage.

You could hear my terrified scream 3 towns over, I'm certain.

I don't really know what he was after, about the only thing we put in the dumpster is physical garbage and broken down boxes, but there he was. What was even worse, he was unable to climb out on his own and had been stuck in there for a while.

After my initial terror had ceased, I ended up getting pretty pissed.

Pissed that I work for a company that could potentially put me in harms way. What if that had been an attacker?

I don't even want to think about how bad this situation could have been.
Hello cruel world....
Posted:Aug 26, 2016 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2016 7:14 pm

Starting next week I'm back to nearly 40 hour work weeks again.


I have so enjoyed my summer schedule of working 3 or 4 days a week. It's going to be tough transitioning back. Working retail can really suck sometimes.

Working weekends, nights, holidays.....

It's a job, though, and I'm paid well. There are a lot of jobless folks out there right now who would kill to work weekends, nights, and holidays.

On an entirely different subject - Question for those of you who may be reading this blog.

When it comes to 'dating', is marital status a consideration when you are making your choices?

There was a time, when I was married, I made the decision to only consider other married men as potential lovers. I felt it was a level playing field, we both went in with the same expectations and knew where our priorities lay.

With my divorce, my feelings have changed.

I have been contacted by a few married men on here and found my conscience wouldn't even allow me to consider the thought anymore. It becomes complicated when one person is married and the other is not, with complication comes strife.

Have you ever had to turn someone away because of their marital status?
It's 2am. I should be sleeping, but I'm not.
Posted:Aug 25, 2016 11:57 pm
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2016 6:25 pm

My mind won't shut off tonight.

I've been missing the physical act of sex, it's times like this that I miss it most. The middle of the night was always my favorite.

Half asleep, half awake..... Snuggled together, feeling comfy.

I knew my relationship was over when my sex drive started to diminish. After a while, I had no drive at all, I wasn't even masturbating.

This is something I have never experienced before.

Part of me wondered if I would ever get it back. Was I just getting older? Did I lose that urge? Did I just NOT need physical intimacy anymore?

It's apparent to me now, that was not the case.

It's the only thing that has been on my mind tonight.
1 comment
Let the back stabbing begin!!
Posted:Aug 25, 2016 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2016 6:13 am


For such a small store, there is a huge amount of drama that happens within those four walls.

What I wouldn't give to be independently wealthy.

As the designated nice guy, I'm stuck listening to EVERY single comment, complaint, and gripe my coworkers have.

Kinda sucks!
Ex Husband, Ex Friends?
Posted:Aug 24, 2016 4:41 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2016 7:33 pm

Why are things always awkward when you see a friend of an ex?

Standing there, forced smiles, looking in every direction but at the other person, waiting for someone to break the ice and make the first comment.

In my case, it's usually the other person. I was always painfully shy anyway, even without the drama.

"How are you doing [secret_lade]?"

"I'm good! I'm good! How are you doing?!" Forced cheerfulness.

"Oh, I'm doing pretty good too!" Eyes wide, wide fake smile.

Complete silence..... Cicadas are buzzing off in the distance.

"Well, it was great catching up with you! Until we meet again...." dramatic hand gesture. Why am I making this into a joke?? I want to crawl into a hole and die.

"It was good seeing you, too, [secret_lade]. You look good." They always sound surprised when they say that. I know my ex husband has not said one kind word about me in the 4 years since we've been divorced, I can only imagine what people think.

It has taken me a long time to get back on my feet again, I left my marriage with virtually nothing. God knows my ex husband made NOTHING easy on me so I can't help but feel triumphant whenever I think about how badly he wanted me to fail and the fact that I came out on top anyway.

The best revenge is living well.
Here's to 'hopefully' getting a good nights sleep.
Posted:Aug 23, 2016 4:51 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2016 8:02 am

I did a little 20 minute beginner's yoga thing tonight.

TOTALLY kicked my ass.

I'm really, very embarrassed by this, I actually broke a sweat. My arms are going to be sore in the morning.....

Is this normal?

Yoga is one of those things that I'd always thought about doing, and mentioned several times I'd like to try it, but never did.

Followed the yoga with a nice, hot shower, using my black chamomile aroma therapy shower gel, then followed that with the black chamomile lotion before I got dressed.

Keep your fingers crossed that I can actually sleep tonight.

Last night was pathetic. Fell asleep at midnight, woke up at 3am, stayed up until 5am, slept until 6am, and have been up ever since. The bags under my eyes have bags of their own.

Wish me luck!
Everything else is just... Meatloaf.
Posted:Aug 22, 2016 7:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2016 6:14 am


A hodge-podge of meat and vegetables mixed together in a bowl and baked until brown.

One of my specialties!

"Yum, this meatloaf is good, Mom," my said, crunching away across the table from me.

Yes, I did say crunching.

Chuckling to myself, time had gotten away from me and I managed to overcook it to the point it became a little crunchy in spots.

"Thanks, babe," I smiled back.

It's those treasured comments that seem to come when I least expect them that make my day.

To link to this blog (secret_lade) use [blog secret_lade] in your messages.

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