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It's 1:34 am....
Posted:Apr 21, 2020 10:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2020 4:56 am

Of course I can't sleep.

It seems as though the downstairs neighbors are following me about the apartment tonight.

I actually got up and went out to the living room because they were crashing and banging around in the bedroom below me...

And, wouldn't you know it, now they are out in the living room opening and shutting the door wall and loudly talking below me.

Singles Club... Population One
Posted:Apr 20, 2020 4:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2020 2:34 pm

And, then there was me.....

The last, solitary member of the workplace singles club.

I feel this honor should come with some sort of trophy or medallion... A badge of honor!

When I had stopped seeing the Hippie, I found myself an honorary member of the newly formed Singes Club with Meme Guy. We were the only 2 coworkers at our peer level who weren't married or otherwise attached, we were the 'singles'.

It was our common thread... Which ended up leading to our friendship.

And now, he is a single no more.

Can I even call it the Singles Club anymore? Is it even a club when there is only one member?


I'm the Lone Single.

Kind of like a super hero... Only, no special powers and a little sad and pathetic.

Instead of a bandito mask, I'll be wearing a COVID-19 mask...

Mini Sabbatical Day Four
Posted:Apr 19, 2020 5:22 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2020 4:39 pm

The final day....

Taking a break from work was THE best thing I could have done for myself, at this point in time.

My mind is clear, my anxiety is manageable once again, and I feel well rested.

Today I took a 1.61 mile walk in the crisp air and brief moments of sunshine. There were very few people on the path while I was out, I actually didn't encounter a single person.


Today I took a bubble bath and watched movies from my laptop. When the water got cold, I added more hot water. I can't remember the last time I sat in the tub and just.... relaxed.

I need to do it more often.

Today I took a 2 hour nap on the couch. I do love my naps... I've gotten into the habit of listening to music while I nap, it kind of drowns out the noises of the white trash living below me.

Ugh... the white trash....

Today I removed the myriad of art projects and report cards that I'd collected over the years on my refrigerator. They always brought a smile to my face but the spawn is no longer drawing rainbows and writing notes that say 'I Love Mom'. I have to put that stuff away and save it while it's still in good condition.

This unearthed a little love note written to me by the Hippie. I could almost hear his voice say to me...

"Hi Sweetie! How was your day?"

I hid it away in the secret spot I have his other stuff hidden.

Today I think I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow.
Mini Sabbatical Day Three
Posted:Apr 19, 2020 6:05 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2020 11:51 pm

Oh.... What a lazy day.

It felt amazing though.

I did venture out at one point do a grocery pick up. Now THAT was an experience. I placed the order on Thursday for the only time slot available in a 5 day span... Saturday from 2-3. I get there and had wait in my car for 20 minutes before someone finally made it my car with my groceries.

I guess this is the new normal.

It gave plenty of time people watch.

Everyone is so up-in-arms about all this virus stuff, but a majority of everyone I see is only pretending be safety conscious.

Let's start with the masks.

I watched as women exited 2 cars parked side by side. Probably friends... Maybe relatives going shopping together as an outing. Both had masks and put them on as they were walking toward the store. Part way to the store I watched them stop waking and the one woman adjusted the mask on the other woman's face.


Kind of defeats the whole purpose of the mask, don't ya thin Hands on face of someone else stretching their mask over their nose. Now, they came in separate vehicles.... I'm going guess, they aren't sheltering at the same home.

Which brings me the shelter at home thing.

If we're supposed be sheltering at home, only venturing out for essentials... Then, why am I seeing entire families shopping? At one point I watched as a mom and what I presume be a teenage and her boyfriend walked toward the store. The hung back a lil so they could hold hands and kiss behind mom's bac

Yah.... I know mom isn't letting them shelter at home together.

Yet, there they were. Not social distancing, not sheltering at home, and exiting the store about minutes later with a tv.

Part of wonders if this whole thing is ever going diminish enough for us go back normal life.

I miss being able just talk about normal stuff.
Mini Sabbatical Day Two
Posted:Apr 17, 2020 10:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2020 7:30 am

Apparently I work a lot.....

Enough that my apartment manager and the handyman are concerned for my welfare as, for the second day in a row, I am not at wor

The were heading out for their dad's when my Middle said "Mom, there's a card out in the hallway."

Um, yah. That's totally bizarre....

I opened it up and it was from the apartment manager and handyman.


They wanted to make sure everything was o

"Are there other cards in front of the other doors?"


I guess I'm going have her now and let her know that I'm merely taking a mental health break from work and not dying alone in my apartment from the Virus.

Thanks for you concern though!

It's actually a very kind gesture, in a world where people aren't really being all that kind these days. I do value and appreciate it.

I think maybe I'll take a shower today... And go for a wal It's a little chilly, but the sun is out. Might be good for my mental health.

Mini Sabbatical Day One
Posted:Apr 17, 2020 3:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2020 5:30 am

I was hoping for a relaxing, zen kind of experience.... It turned out to be a little more bipolar with a side of cray cray.

As usual, I woke up at the butt crack of dawn, only this time I woke up with a hint of sore throat.

Are you kidding me??

Is it irritation from seasonal allergy drainage? Coronavirus??

Um, yah.... Nope. It was from snoring.

I remember once, when the hippie and I first started having sleep over visits, I woke up in the middle of the night and he had his pillow wrapped around his head.

He said my snoring rivaled that of an air horn.

It's no wonder I'm still single....

Snoring... The new sexy!!

I picked the Spawn up after work on Wednesday because she hasn't been doing her online school work at her dad's. I always end up being the bad guy, being the disciplinarian, and it makes me want to kick his ass sometimes.

He's not doing the any favors by being their 'pal'.

So, I took her phone away when she got up and told her she didn't get it back until ALL of her school work was done. She pissed and moaned about it for a while, then finally got on the computer and did it.

Or, so I thought.

Those teachers are funny beings, though.... I received a phone call from her math teacher telling me she had logged into the classroom but hadn't turned in any of her assignments.

I was pissed!

"Care to explain why your math teacher just called and said you haven't done any of your WORK??"

"I can't believe he ratted me out!"

"Phone, NOW!! CLASSWORK, NOW!! I will be calling him back to verify it is done once you are completed."

"I'm doing it, geez.... I just can't believe he ratted me out."

"I can't believe you LIED to me. You can consider your phone a distant memory."

With nothing else to do with my time, I ended up cleaning the bathroom, doing two loads of laundry, and vacuuming my entire apartment all before noon.

She goes back to her dad's for the weekend today, I might just try to tackle that pig sty of a bedroom during my time off.

Or, not.

That could be her punishment for the next time she tries to weasel out of doing her school work.
Wrong on SO many levels!
Posted:Apr 15, 2020 5:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2020 2:11 pm

One of the guys in today's orientation class was openly hitting on .


So much WRONG with this scenario....

For starters, he was married. Furthermore, his wife WORKS for us. Top that with he's 11 years younger than I am.

Good lord.....

My Work BFF stopped in my office at the tail end of it all when Mr. Flirt was the last newbie left for give a schedule . I hadn't been paying attention what the two of them were talking about, but when I looked Mr. Flirt was asking if I was going have lunch with him.

I wanted die.

"I've already taken my lunch, sorry."

My Work BFF just stared at .


"I don't think so. I heard you talking on the phone, and I heard you laughing with this guy, but I don't recall you taking lunch."

", but I did! Besides, you're married. Go home your wife."

I tried be as nonchalant as I could, but it was really weird. The Work BFF got a pretty good laugh out of the whole thing. I did not.

On an unrelated side note...

I need some help from my readers. On a couple of different occasions, including just a few moments ago, I've had men tell me I need a 'wish list' so they can worship my feet from afar.

What the heck are they talking about?

Am I missing something?

What am I supposed be wishing for?

Inquiring minds would like know.
Let's play a little game.
Posted:Apr 14, 2020 3:39 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2020 2:12 pm

We'll call it....

What's on my shirt?

I was with the orientation group showing them how to punch in and where to go to get their health screen when the intake person said to me....

Hold on, you have something on your shirt.

Walking toward me, mask on, full face shield, gloved hands... She pointed to my left shoulder.

So, the question is.... What was on my shirt?

A. Toothpaste
B. Green Beans
C. Price Tag
D. None of the Above

If you answered None of the Above, you would be correct!

I burst out laughing when I saw the fluttery black fake eyelash perched precariously above my right tit.

"Now, where in the HELL did something like THAT come from??"

For the life of me, I still can't figure out how I managed to accumulate a fake eyelash.

I guess this will forever remain one of life's mysteries.
Another episode of the Monday Shit Show!
Posted:Apr 13, 2020 3:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2020 5:21 pm

Starring..... Me!!


Ten minutes into my day, today, Boss #1 yelled at me and slammed my office door shut as he stormed out.

It was fantastic! I felt like a million fucking dollars afterward!

I really had to refrain myself from cart wheeling all the way to the bathroom afterward....

Fucking douche bag....

Yah, I ended up crying in the bathroom for God knows how long.

This is Boss #1's last week with the company and he's just being a complete, emotionally charged asshole. I skipped the morning meeting and avoided him for the small amount of time he was actually there today.

If it weren't for the two orientations I have scheduled this week, I would have taken the rest of the week off. I am taking Thursday and Friday though....

I talked with Boss #2 and told her I just need some time off, I need a mental health break from it all. I told her about the emotional outburst from her counterpart and she just shook her head, it was completely unacceptable behavior and over something that had nothing at all to do with me.

For a man who is about to retire.... He's not taking it very well.

God help me.... I have just one more working day with him.

Wish me luck.
Happy Easter
Posted:Apr 12, 2020 1:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2020 12:57 am

Let the shenanigans begin!

Because it's just NOT quite Easter until the are fighting, the smoke alarm is going off, something is boiling over on the stove, and my eyes are watering from the smell of egg farts....

And so I've got another Easter under my belt!

The Pandemic Easter of 2020.....

It came complete with a toilet paper shortage, the overpowering scent of lysol, and a sense of gratitude, guilt, and insecurity all rolled into one!

To be honest, it was a special Easter for the and I.  We have a lot to be thankful for, this year.  

Health, happiness, and family.
Public Service Announcement
Posted:Apr 10, 2020 3:43 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2020 3:19 pm

Toilet paper rolls belong on dispensors!

Not on the back of the toilet, the handrail in the handicap bathroom stall, or perched upon the sink where we WASH OUR HANDS.

For the love of God people, please make sure you put the TP out correctly when you put it out.

So, yes, this is a huge pet peeve of mine.... One that I feel really strongly about.

Think about it....

Just how many people have used that roll of toilet paper before you? Did they wash their hands? Did they, God forbid, get any body fluids on that hand before they reached out and grabbed that roll to unwrap the portion they would be using, holding onto it from the sides and inside of the roll?? Did they touch the portion you are now using to wipe when they set it back on the back of the toilet??


The worst is when people stick it on the sink. There are enough poop particles floating in the air to have that sitting up by where you wash your hands. You poop, you wipe, discover you need more TP.... And guess what? You're reaching back out again to the sink to get more TP.


So, I sit here today, issuing out my public service anouncement for all to see, because once again, I had a disturbing public restroom experience at work yesterday.

Aside from wearing adult diapers, I have no other choice but to use the restrooms at work when I have to go.

I cringe at the thought even now...

Yesterday was no exception.

I walked in, washed my hands, and entered the stall. Perched upon the handicap hand rail were 2 rolls of TP.

I was just about to unzip when I noticed upon the roll on the right a sized handprint... Leaning down a hair to see what I was looking at I noticed it was a poopy hand print.


Is it seasonal allergies? Or, do I have 5 minutes to live??
Posted:Apr 9, 2020 3:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2020 3:32 pm

It's that time of year when my sesonal allergies hit hardest.

Early spring.

Buds are popping, plants are springing to life, and my sinuses are swelling to max capacity.


I clear my throat a lot when I'm having sinus issues.... This is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I sneezed in my office yesterday afternoon and 5 people popped their head in to make sure I was ok.

How did it get to this point?

Everyone is on red alert these days for even the slightest hint that someone may be "sick".

I was telling Nose Hairs about my allergy issues and he did tell me there is an allergy medication you can get over the counter at the pharmacy that has a decongestant in it, I'm going to give that a try.

Wish me luck!

Hopefully the villagers won't be escourting me out with their pitch forks and torches when I get to work today.
Chopstick Escapades
Posted:Apr 7, 2020 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2020 3:22 am

I bought sushi for lunch and decided I would try to be fancy and eat it with chopsticks.

Um.... Yah.

Twenty minutes into it I had read 3 tutorials and watched 1 youtube video on the proper use of chopsticks and still managed to fling a California Roll across the breakroom.

I never did manage to master the skill of chopsticks.

Have I mentioned how underrated eating with your fingers is??

I guess this means I'll have to remain a savage.

Cripe... I really was looking forward to being fancy.

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