Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now

Russian Stimulants... Locusts and Their Connection With... Cheating Girlfriends... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ  

Paulxx001 64M
8630 posts
2/16/2021 10:49 am

Last Read:
3/13/2021 11:08 pm

Russian Stimulants... Locusts and Their Connection With... Cheating Girlfriends... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

The trails of an intrepid vagabond aren't always smooth. I once took a tedious three-week business trip that spilled across Eastern Europe with a terminus in Moscow.

I'd concluded my exhaustive meetings one day sooner than expected and was anxious to get back to Montreal - so I booked the first available flight. I was high in the sky when things unravelled with a frightening clatter.

Our plane hit a swarm of locusts, or was it volcanic ash? I don't recall. (I'd swallowed a Russian stimulant to help me through the 16-hour trip, and THAT sucker was the size of a grape.) Iceland was where we rerouted and waited 10 hours for our new jet.

There's not much to do in Keflavik if you're stuck in the terminal.

I found an eclectic coffee and gift shop which displayed an extensive collection of lopapeysur (woollen sweaters) and a repertoire of Steven King novels. And, they served the national dish - Hรกkarl - which is a fermented shark.
Did you know they dry it for five months? It has a very potent ammonia-rich smell; it's an acquired taste. In 10 hours, I fell short of acquisition.

It was 5 in the morning by the time we crossed the Atlantic, and I'd cleared customs; a fierce tailwind had clipped an hour off our flight. I hadn't told anyone I was flying in - hoping to surprise everyone - so of course, no one was there to greet me. Thankfully I had no cumbersome luggage to drag around; the airline had lost it. I opened the door to my home and quietly stepped in; I was startled to find what I saw.

My living room was festooned with a mass of balloons in all shapes and colours, and a banner hung on my ceiling - 'Welcome Home.' My loving Lynn had planned a surprise party. I had to admit; I was surprised.

As I crept in, I clumsily brushed the table and knocked a clump of magazines from their perch. Seconds later, I heard a male voice call.

"Lynn, is that you?"

A half-naked man approached me from the shadows of my hallway. My heart stopped as a chill ran through my soul. The worst possible thoughts flooded my head; I couldn't believe what was happening. I visualized my relationship with Lynn - completely oxidize. Then, he spoke again.

"Lynn...? Whadja forget?"

I still couldn't see the man's face, but I recognized his voice. It was Lynn's brother - for fuck's sake - he lived in Toronto.

"Hey, Robert. What are YOU doing here? Where's Lynn?"

"Hey, Paul. What are YOU doing here? Your flight's not supposed to land till 6. The airline called, they found your bags. Lynn went to the airport to surprise you. I'm sleeping over; she invited me to your party."

We both started to laugh. Me, from relief and at the irony of the situation. Robert, because... I have no clue why he laughed; he was easily amused.

And that's how things went that early morning. Poor Lynn had made all these plans, and those locusts and I had messed them all up.

We blasted the party that night. I feigned surprise as I walked through the door, carrying my lost luggage and a 'lopapeysa' under my arm. And, I entertained my friends with tales of 'The Kremlin' and locusts and fermented sharks. I never mentioned those Russian stimulants or how I freaked out when I saw Robert in my hallway.

You don't have to share every detail of a road trip, do you?

.....................
Images of Iceland. What a beautiful country.



Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 11:18 am

Have you ever taken a trip where things drifted sideways and didn't go quite as planned? ๐Ÿค”


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 11:20 am

I'd say just about EVERY single time I took any trip; things never went as planned.
I should tell you about the road trips with the band, but those are tales for another time. ๐Ÿ˜Š


sexyldy1000 60F  
8107 posts
2/16/2021 1:07 pm

The worst experience I had was returning home from San Francisco. After taxing out onto the runway, they had just started going through the โ€˜safety spielโ€™ when all the power died. We were stuck there for 5 hours, food and drinks were free but rationed. My cell phone died, the charger was in my suitcase and I didnโ€™t have my house key. When I finally got to Torontoโ€™s airport, couldnโ€™t find my luggage. Got home at 3:30 a.m. but there no point going to sleep as I had to go to work. When my boss asked me how my trip went, she said I should have taken the day off. I just laughed and put in a full day.

Stimulate my mind and let's see what happens
A Checklist For Healthy Living


smartasswoman 63F  
34227 posts
2/16/2021 1:37 pm

Business travel is not all it's cracked up to be (for that matter, vacation travel can be unexpectedly grueling too!). Makes for a good story later, though...


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 1:49 pm

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    The worst experience I had was returning home from San Francisco. After taxing out onto the runway, they had just started going through the โ€˜safety spielโ€™ when all the power died. We were stuck there for 5 hours, food and drinks were free but rationed. My cell phone died, the charger was in my suitcase and I didnโ€™t have my house key. When I finally got to Torontoโ€™s airport, couldnโ€™t find my luggage. Got home at 3:30 a.m. but there no point going to sleep as I had to go to work. When my boss asked me how my trip went, she said I should have taken the day off. I just laughed and put in a full day.
5 hours? OMG... I don't think my patience level would have survived without blowing up. And yet, what can you do?
So, you're patient are you? ๐Ÿค” lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
Ya must have your limits. Have you heard about those people stuck on the tarmac for hours? ๐Ÿค”


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 1:56 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    Business travel is not all it's cracked up to be (for that matter, vacation travel can be unexpectedly grueling too!). Makes for a good story later, though...
It certainly does, and can make for a great tiny story and amusing anecdote.

Cheat and tease my with ONE. ๐Ÿ˜Žโ—


scoupe42 57M  
10682 posts
2/16/2021 2:26 pm

Is this a true story? Very interestng, as Artie Johnson would say. Thing seem to NEVER goe as planned.


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 4:04 pm

    Quoting scoupe42:
    Is this a true story? Very interestng, as Artie Johnson would say. Thing seem to NEVER goe as planned.
All of my tales are true... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Thanks for popping in. Artie was a classic, as was that whole show. Thanks for the reminder. โ—โ—โ—


lunchandconvo 50F
3056 posts
2/16/2021 4:42 pm

i did a big trip from San Francisco to Phoenix.
everything was going fantastic til Phoenix.
first off... our hotel was more budget than anywhere else.
the AC unit was a wall unit on the side of the bed.
i was with my god sis and her hubby who i think is 6'4"?
and the queen bed we were all sharing was more of a double.
with his ass crack on the AC unit.
i was on the other end.
so we decided to do some chinese takeout.
my go to dish is shrimp with lobster sauce.

i got food poisoning.
god sis was pregnant.
we were both puking.

i commandeered the road trip to stay at a higher end hilton so we would at least all have AC.


flannel_light 58F  
2739 posts
2/16/2021 4:54 pm

My flaying ended when 911 happened. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. Thanks for the story


May the light bring peace into your life.
Ramona


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 7:51 pm

    Quoting lunchandconvo:
    i did a big trip from San Francisco to Phoenix.
    everything was going fantastic til Phoenix.
    first off... our hotel was more budget than anywhere else.
    the AC unit was a wall unit on the side of the bed.
    i was with my god sis and her hubby who i think is 6'4"?
    and the queen bed we were all sharing was more of a double.
    with his ass crack on the AC unit.
    i was on the other end.
    so we decided to do some chinese takeout.
    my go to dish is shrimp with lobster sauce.

    i got food poisoning.
    god sis was pregnant.
    we were both puking.

    i commandeered the road trip to stay at a higher end hilton so we would at least all have AC.
There ya go; now who doesn't love a road trip with puke in the sentence. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ Omg... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Definitely sounds like a classic!
Ugh... cheap motel rooms. Have you watched 'Schitt's Creek'? ๐Ÿค”


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 7:54 pm

    Quoting flannel_light:
    My flaying ended when 911 happened. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. Thanks for the story
I understand.
I can't say I'm a huge fan of air travel. I prefer the ground type. A lot more to see and experience.
After this bug is done, perhaps you'll get back on the road as well? ๐Ÿค”


lunchandconvo 50F
3056 posts
2/16/2021 8:27 pm

Yes! Great show.
I don't think we got free toiletries.


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 9:12 pm

    Quoting lunchandconvo:
    Yes! Great show.
    I don't think we got free toiletries.
I was hooked on that show.
No toiletries... lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
Ahhh... the number of dive motels and hotels I've stayed at. So much fun if you travel with people who own a sense of humour and know how to laugh.
Knowing how to party helps as well! ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿ˜Ž โ— โ—


author51 58F
112228 posts
2/16/2021 10:43 pm

Thankfully all my trips to B.C. have gone as planned except for the odd flight delay..Great story to share there Mr.World Traveler...xoxo

You can never have enough JOY in your life..xoxo

CAN I SEE YOU


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 11:00 pm

    Quoting author51:
    Thankfully all my trips to B.C. have gone as planned except for the odd flight delay..Great story to share there Mr.World Traveler...xoxo
Wow! You've been lucky ๐Ÿ€!
I'll get to sharing some of my road trips with the band, but they're for mature audiences only. Do they exist on this site? ๐Ÿค” lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
You'd relate to the stuff that went on between musicians. Ugh... lol ๐Ÿ˜‚


PonyGirl1965 55F
14929 posts
2/16/2021 11:14 pm

It wouldn't be a road trip if something didn't blow up.


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/16/2021 11:40 pm

    Quoting PonyGirl1965:
    It wouldn't be a road trip if something didn't blow up.
Blowing up - is half the fun. The other half, well, that's about how much you can laugh about it.
You seem - to me - to be someone who'd provide the laughter. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Žโ—


superbjversion2 65F
22110 posts
2/17/2021 10:35 am

I've been very fortunate in my travels ... no locusts.

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/17/2021 12:30 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    I've been very fortunate in my travels ... no locusts.
They're rare (those grasshoppers), aren't they? ๐Ÿค”
But I'm sure you've had YOUR moments; those lighthouse adventures, and (come on), 700 mile jaunts? ๐Ÿค”
No matter where I've been (whether business or with the band), there's always been SOMETHING that got twisted in an interesting way.
I'm amazed that you can do seven- in a blink

Oh gosh, I've become a pathetic baby. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ Ya never stayed at one of those motels ya see on horror movies?


superbjversion2 65F
22110 posts
2/17/2021 2:39 pm

"Ya never stayed at one of those motels ya see on horror movies?"

Well...there was that one place in Pennsylvania with monster bugs but that was in 1975. I learned early and well.

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/17/2021 3:45 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    "Ya never stayed at one of those motels ya see on horror movies?"

    Well...there was that one place in Pennsylvania with monster bugs but that was in 1975. I learned early and well.
'Monster bugs' - Eeee.... Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
I've been there... I think.

Ya need the right bug spray, and a man...
... who knows how to hold that can. โ—โ—๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿท๐Ÿท


mc_justmc 60M  
6555 posts
2/18/2021 5:25 am

I could have lived without knowing about fermented shark. amp;


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/18/2021 5:35 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I could have lived without knowing about fermented shark. amp;
There's a trick to eating that stuff.
When ya throw it - diced and the skin removed - into a glass, and topped off with Brennivรญn (Icelandic schnapps), it kills the smell and, UGH... it's palatable.
Especially if you chase it with more vodka on the side. ๐Ÿ˜Žโ—โ—
Yep... an acquired taste, for sure! ๐Ÿ‘

But hey, every part of the world has its own unique 'tasters', no? ๐Ÿค”


misskissin 57F
87121 posts
2/19/2021 6:09 pm

Oh I have definitely had some crazy trips. They make for great memories though don't they?


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/19/2021 7:26 pm

    Quoting misskissin:
    Oh I have definitely had some crazy trips. They make for great memories though don't they?
Oh... they certainly do.
A quick one here? ๐Ÿค”
Or for one of your posts

Or... both? lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
Yep... Remember when...? ๐Ÿค” lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
Yep...


backpocket13 47M
8895 posts
2/28/2021 5:36 am

Hey Paul,
.........Itโ€™s Great to see Youโ€™re still Here!..........
Sinfully Yours, backpocket13


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
2/28/2021 1:07 pm

    Quoting backpocket13:
    Hey Paul,
    .........Itโ€™s Great to see Youโ€™re still Here!..........
    Sinfully Yours, backpocket13
All's well. Hope life has been treating you well. ๐Ÿ‘ Cheers ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Žโ—


secret_lade 46F
6734 posts
3/1/2021 4:18 pm

I have done very little business travel... I've always had young kids at home and they took priority for me. I have done some overnight trips for training or meetings, but that's about it.


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
3/1/2021 5:58 pm

    Quoting secret_lade:
    I have done very little business travel... I've always had young kids at home and they took priority for me. I have done some overnight trips for training or meetings, but that's about it.
Well... your day trips are an adventure.
Whenever you visit the beach and your shores and places โ€” THAT'S an unpredictable voyage.
I've read your tales and YOU don't have to travel far, to have an interesting thought to share.
I like short day jaunts; at the end of the day, snuggled in your own bed... with a memory to cherish.

And no luggage to worry about. It's too bad that you missed the blue ice. I googled it and it looked awesome.

Ya didn't miss much by not travelling. It's about how you enjoy the distance, and not about how far you've gone. What do you think? ๐Ÿค”
๐Ÿท๐Ÿทโ—๐Ÿ˜Ž


Randee_69 54M
118 posts
3/2/2021 8:57 am

I've been to Moscow. Quite an interesting city to visit. I can't say I'd be a fan of shark.


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
3/2/2021 11:18 pm

    Quoting Randee_69:
    I've been to Moscow. Quite an interesting city to visit. I can't say I'd be a fan of shark.
Moscow certainly is a vast metropolis. It's a city where one could get lost, in a hurry. During my visit, there were areas that were exclusive to western tourists.
I drifted...
Yep... Shark stuff is an acquired taste. Thanks for popping in. ๐Ÿ‘


BeccaLuvs 59F  
19632 posts
3/5/2021 11:59 am

Another great story Paul! You def are good - a person gets absorbed reading your stuff! And, had to smile when I read about the "Harkarl - fermented shark". We do that with a fish called "snoek", dry it out and eat it later, plus we do it with meat - beef or wild, called biltong, and makes a good snacking food! As for travel - not a good traveller - wish I could rather cycle or run, (know that's not possible long distance) - but being enclosed in a vehicle - I just want to get to the end of the journey!

..... And always 'hold onto all those sexy thoughts'!
(Remember if you feel like taking part in some sexy fun then click here!) Come on Some Sketch Fun
And Now How About 39Me39 Watching 39You39 If you39d like that Please Comment - So if you would like - click here as well!


Paulxx001 64M
18811 posts
3/5/2021 9:56 pm

Over here we call snoek โ€” pike. I'd be up for the challenge; can't be worse than fermented shark ๐Ÿฆˆ... lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
Yep, I'm like you, I like to get to where I'm going. Too many long, long road trips that dragged... a bit. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ But there was always a funny tale or two ta share. I'm hopeful things will start turning back to normal soon.
Things are looking up over here. How about in your part of the world? ๐Ÿค”


Become a member to create a blog