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Welcome...
◀️ (kLik the piC)
These aggregation of stories,
lampoons and irreverent points of view...
occasionally make sense.
Have fun.



You deserve some pancakes.
(* ©April 2018-21 January Paul P. )
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What The Frock.... Is Your Fricken Problem?.... 😱... 5
Posted:Apr 12, 2019 4:42 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 8:45 am
40695 Views
A F F is still deleting words in t.he te.xt here . Please be patient.

Hello everyone. It's Friday and this regular feature of mine is back. Complaining never helps, right? Although, it's a proven scientific fact ; you'll have better sex and a bigger erection, if you're less stressed. I don't know. Is it true? Relieve some of your stress here. Go ahead and vent. I a.m ready, to listen.

Did anyone get 'frozen out' , of their own blog page, by t.hat, A F F boo boo today? 😙
Seriously... this blog land, is such a cluster fuck of ineptitude.

So last week here (if you recall), I decided to serve y'all, those mini pizzas. Turns out, t.hat can, of tomato sauce I used, expired in 2016. 😱 Who the fuck knew? Did anyone get sick? I didn't. Maybe... my stomach, is used to my own cooking.

I realized, perhaps... I should check out the rest of my fridge and pantry, for expired food. I have a HUGE side-by - side fridge; yeah... it's o.ld. I haven't dug into the back of it, in y.ears- ever since the left. 🤔

Holy shit! I found a jar of seafood sauce... dated 2015. When I opened it, the stuff was green and it was moving. I wasn't going to try i.t. Then... I went into my pantry; canned beans from 2018, corn from 2017, tuna from Sept. 2018. Bottom line is .... I should be paying closer attention, to the expiration dates in my kitchen.

Or should I? I mean... It's in a sealed can. It's air tight. Don't they last forever? Is this just a scam?

I a.m going to go and give those canned food items, a shot . I'll let you know how things turn out. If I.m not posting blogs, by Tuesday or Wednesday... someone, c.all ... 9 1 1.

So... What's been going on with you people? Anyone get laid, recently?

Bring it on... I a.m listening!
.......................................
So...
° What the frock is your problem?
° If you have nothing to complain about... How was your week? Whatcha been doing?


Irish coffee, ☕ is always ready. Pineapple slushies 🍍 in the freezer. Pomegranate (yep something different) juice for those, into alcohol free. And mini pizzas - again. This time, with fresh, tomato sauce! I just bought it... today.
..

You don't have to worry about jiggling the handle on the toilet. I fixed it... finally.
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47 Comments
Women Have Dildos and Vibrators... They Don't Need Men... Or Do They?... 🤔
Posted:Apr 11, 2019 2:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2020 8:03 am
33767 Views
Note : A F F is deleting words in the t.ext. Please be patient.

Part of my, 'Self Help Series', on sexuality... 😁

Women have been using artificial penises (for self pleasuring), since they first discovered, they each had a clitoris and a vagina. However, the oldest 'hard' evidence, was uncovered in 2005. German scientists got wet, when they unearthed a twenty-eight thousand (28,000) year old, eight inch (20 cm) phallus, of polished siltstone.

The stone dildo was discovered, in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Swabia
, by an Early Prehistory team from the University of Tübingen.
Scientists were impressed with how smooth it was, remarking; "... it must have taken hours and hours to polish it, to such a fine level." I guess... if it's going in there , it would have to be smooth - right?

With the invention of the battery, came the creation of the vibrator and the ultimate evolution - of the the dildo. How prevalent is the use, o.f this toy today? In 2009, in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Debra Herbenick (and her g.roup), published the findings of a survey from 2,056 women, between the ages of 18 to 60. Here are some of the results, of their study.

(1) 52.5% of the women admitted, to having used a vibrator either ; masturbating, during intercourse, and with a partner, as part of foreplay.

(2) Vibrators were used more frequently, for clitoral stimulation: 83.8% of users.

(3) Only 64% of women, also inserted them.

(4) Over 98% of women never experienced any negative side effects. Numbness, pain, irritation, inflammation, tears or cuts were rarely reported. Therefore, vibrators are very safe!

Here's my question to this whole thing. Do Vibrators improve sexual enjoyment and functioning for women? Or.... do women who already have, better sexual functioning, incorporate those vibrating toys, into their sexual repertoire; as a means of experimenting, and enhancing their experience?

I used to get a c.all, from a woman: she only phoned, when her batteries were dead. 😱 She just wanted, to use my penis... and fuck me! I was fine with that... I guess. 😶


..........................................
So
Would you be able to 'do without', your favorite vibrator, dildo or toy?
Have you ever enjoyed using a vibrator or dildo with your partner?
..

Note : A F F is deleting words in the t.ext. Please be patient.
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Instructions on how to use a dildo are included in the diagram, below. ..
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40 Comments
Sexy and Salacious... In Elevator Number Six.... 😱
Posted:Apr 10, 2019 11:41 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 8:50 am
31609 Views
They walked out of the office and waited by the elevator. He glanced at her and smiled. She looked at him and smiled back. Her fingers, took a firm grip of the purse, she clutched nervously... against her thighs. They stood apart. No one would know.

A friend walked by. "Hi... Are you two going to the company party? It's on the twentieth floor, right ?"

Before they could answer, the doors to elevator number six, opened. They walked over, with the horde and stepped in. He stood behind her, invisible... against the mirrored wall. Bodies pressed and squeezed, against each other... searching for space. She was pushed back, onto him. She felt him. She could sense his hands as they brushed lightly, up against her waist. The doors closed. Butterflies... flickered in her stomach, as that tiny, moving room, descended. The nape of her neck, beckoned him. He could smell her scent. He could feel her hair, against his cheek.

At the floor below, they lurched to a stop and some of the others, left. He took a chance. No one would see that first kiss, as his lips touched her neck. It sent a shiver, down her spine. Quickly... more people bustled, into their space. She was pushed into him, again. This time, she could feel his hardness. She smiled and bit her lip. Butterflies captured her once more... as their cramped room, descended.

The ding of a bell, a rush of air through the opening doors, a rustle of feet and soon... people walked out. His opportunity was brief. He kissed her neck, again. She sighed, at its simplicity and eloquence. Her knees buckled (just slightly), as the doors shut and they plunged, to the floor below. This was the floor , they were both, thirsty for. It was the floor, with the 'company party' . EVERYONE... got out and no one, looked back. That tiny, mirrored room, with those sliding doors... was their's. Those doors... finally closed.

His third kiss met her lips, as she turned her head to meet him. That ... was the kiss... she had waited for. She closed her eyes. Butterflies and shivers now fluttered and tingled, through her whole body. She flung her arms around his neck and squeezed him. Their hips pressed together. Their mouths, opened and they felt each other breathe. He clutched her breasts, as she reached between his legs and held him. He pushed her up against the glass wall and kissed her... harder.

The floors between the twentieth and ground floor, were being renovated. Their descent... would take a while. At least long enough, for their kiss... and those butterflies... to linger and expand.

In another part of the building ('The Dungeon' , as they called it); Mike sat down, put his hat on the table, and opened his lunch box. He peered into, one of the many video screens, in front of him.

Steve (his partner), trudged into the control room. "Whatcha doin' Mike?"

"Oh... hi Steve. I'm watching the video feed, from Elevator Number Six. You know that couple in lust, who work on the twenty third floor? The ones always groping each other? They're riding... alone. Hey... ya wanna shut down the main power - to Number Six? I'm gonna call them and tell them, we'll have it up and running, in about twenty minutes. Let's see what type of show we get... when they've got the time, to play."

"Ooo... yeah. Good idea." Steve ran to the panel, and flipped a red switch. "Push over and make some room for me. I'm having ham and cheese. What's on your menu?"

"The hot couple there, in the elevator," Mike replied laughing, as he dialed the emergency elevator phone. He watched the screen, as the man and woman, in Elevator Number Six... stopped kissing and groping each other... and picked up the phone.

When they hung up... that salacious couple, continued the show, they had begun. They had no idea, that an appreciative audience, was enjoying every moment... of their lust.

Even if they had, I'm wondering... would they have stopped?


.......
So...
Are you concerned about the invasion of your privacy... with so many hidden, security cameras everywhere; or is it an issue, of who is looking at those videos?
😱

Bonus Question: Do you think those security guys should be fired?
😶..

Note: A F F is still dropping or deleting words, from text. Please be patient.
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25 Comments
Finally... The Secret To Getting Laid... Is Revealed... 😱
Posted:Apr 8, 2019 12:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:55 pm
35224 Views
Note : A F F is deleting words in the text. Please be patient.

Part of my, 'Self Help Series', on sexuality... 😁

This , is a sex dating site (supposedly) and you're all here, looking for someone. Hookups, might be for quick sex, or something more permanent - like a third date... at least. What trait are women looking for, that men can offer... which will seal the deal? Humour! Women... are attracted to funny men.

Read the profiles, on this site. The majority say it (mine as well); "... looking for someone with a sense of humour". Why is humour so important? Woman equate humour, with intelligence!

Women are attracted to witty, funny men and men... are attracted to women, who laugh, at all their jokes. The science on this matter is clear. Check out the online dating stats, that are available out there. Don't ask me where. I read it somewhere, for fucks sake.

Women see humour, as a sign of intelligence and weed out the less competent. Men use humour to impress women, and the funny ones ,succeed. Curiously, most men don't really care, if the woman is funny. Although... I do... hmmm. 🤔

Men - You want to increase the traffic on your profile? Make it funny. Include jokes and keep it light. Women - You want to attract the man you're looking for? Include in your profile, an expressed desire, to find a humorous man.

There it is. Women... you know what to look for now. It's a sure sign, if he's funny... then he's also likely to be, that intelligent man - attached to that cock, you seek.

Men... I've given you all, the secrets to successfully seduce women. Take some humour, add some confident swagger and you've got the winning formula. A big dick, should help as well. Some women here, might know more, about how important that is.

Now what I haven't given you men - is a sense of humour. Who's to say, she'll laugh at your stupid jokes and dumb ass, witty observations? That's what you , have to work at. This might be a topic, for another blog.

Oh... and here's a tip, men. Don't let her find out, that you can barely read or write! She'll probably stop calling you back. 🤔


..................................................
So...
How important is humour for you, in attracting, or seeking a partner?
Bonus Question : Or is dick or tit size more important?


Humour ; is spelled in different ways. The USA form, does not include the letter 'u'. The version with the 'u' in it ; is considered the British, or world version.  ..

Note: A F F is still deleting words in the text. Please be patient.
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64 Comments
What The Flock... Is Your Problem...? 😱4
Posted:Apr 5, 2019 4:43 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 8:55 am
29369 Views
A F F is still messing with the text here . Please be patient.

Hello everyone. It's Friday. And this regular feature of mine is back. Complaining never helps, right? Well... it might, make you feel better and relieve some stress. Here's your chance to vent. I am ready, to listen.

Should I mention again... how this site... is... Nah... It's getting boring! 😶

Spring is springing here. The lakes and rivers are free of ice. And... the Canada geese are back, from wherever it is, they go. I live not far, from the river shore. This week, I was, on the way to work, when I see the cars in front of m.e screech and smash, to a stop. I missed hitting the truck in front of m.e, by an inch. We all got out to see, what the problem was. 🤔

Evidently... one guy, tried to avoid hitting, one of those Canada geese, as it waddled into the street. The bird, with the white trim feathers, lived. T.hat bird lover's rear bumper, was crumpled, like an accordion. The guy who h.it him, was looking a.t a smashed grill. All .... to save, a fat goose.

Later t.hat day, I was driving home, in the opposite direction, past t.hat same park. Guess what I saw... dead - lying there by the ditch? Yep... t.hat Canada Goose, with the white trimmed feathers. ... I would be pissed, if I was the driver of either one of those cars t.hat morning. Thousands of dollars in damages and they don't even get, to taste... t.hat fois gras?

Here's a safety tip: don't brake for geese, or you'll p.ay the price. Yeah... yeah.... I love animals. But in the city, or highway? Don't fricken stop for a duck. A fuck... ? Ok.... But not... a duck! 🐧

So... What's been going on with you people? Anyone get laid, recently? I bought some condoms yesterday... just in case. 😁

Bring it on... I am listening!
.......................................
So...
° What the flock is your problem?
° If you have nothing to bitch about... How was your week? Whatcha been doing?


Irish coffee, is always ready. I've got a brand new batch, of pineapple slushies in the freezer. Lemonade for those, into alcohol free. I am serving little... mini pizzas tonight. They'll be ready in a bit... if I don't burn them. Help yourself.


Please don't jiggle the handle on the toilet. It's slightly fucked . . ..
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36 Comments
Are Your Blog Posts Messing Up? Escalate This Issue To - Bug #CD-46151.Im fedUp! Are you? ?
Posted:Apr 4, 2019 7:05 pm
Last Updated:May 16, 2020 6:19 pm
8931 Views
Are your blog posts messing u.p? Are words being chopped, cropped and deleted? Are you pissed off?

This has been an ongoing problem for months and months now. Escalate this issue to A F F programmers in the following manner.

° Copy the perfect version of your blog.
° Then copy the butchered version of your blog.
° And send... both versions to:


Gold Support... and make sure to refer to Bug #CD-461 51 in the subject line.

Here's the e ma.il Adress :

gold @ adultfriend finder . c. om
Of course they're going to chop words and letters on THIS post. lol... 😱😁 What a cluster fuck. lol 😁

Let's make it happen. If it bugs you.... And if it doesn't. No worries... Have a peaceful night...
I.m going to have a pineapple slushy. Yo.u think i.t might help? 🍍🤔

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35 Comments
Do I Look... Like a Condom Expert...? 🤔
Posted:Apr 4, 2019 12:29 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:05 am
27660 Views
Note: A F F is chopping and deleting words. Please be patient.

It was early evening. I was meandering about, through my usual, grocery store 'giant'. I was looking, for any specials... and a tube of toothpaste. There was a wide screen TV on sale, right next to the cucumbers. I'd pass on that. As I walked down, the healthcare aisle, I noticed, a vast array of condoms, on my left. It was curious... I had never noticed them there, before. I leaned forward and scanned the inventory. Such a selection!

Studded, thin, ultra-thin, lamb skin, lubricated... each one offering a variety of sensations to explore and find your pleasure. The promise of sensory satisfaction, was printed, like a guarantee... right on the package.

I realized, that I was hogging the space, when she brushed up beside me. She smiled, shyly and peered at them. I smiled back and spoke...

"I was just reading the ingredients and admiring the selection."

She laughed. "So... you're a condom expert?"

"Do I look... like a condom expert?" And perhaps I did.

"Well... I have no idea what to get." She spoke, shaking her head.

She was an attractive lady, younger than me. She held no basket in her hands. She looked, as if she was dressed up... and on her way somewhere... much more important.

"You have no idea? Well, is it for you... or a gift for a friend?"

She laughed again. "It's been a while, since I've purchased these. May I ask you a question? What would you suggest? What do you like? " she smiled... tilting her head to the side.

I paused. I'd never been asked for my opinion on condoms... by a pretty lady... in a store. I felt a touch, self conscious as I replied.

"Well... to start with, what size is he?"

She giggled, as she measured her hands in the air. "I can't believe, I'm doing this," she laughed, blushing. "About this big... I think? I've never seen him. I've only felt him," she whispered.

Such... an honest response. It must be, the third date.

Her hands, seemed to be separated, by the exact length... of my little fella. "It looks, like he's a 'regular', a bit smaller than me," I smiled coyly.

She laughed, as I replied. Had her eyes, just drifted down there? I was positive, they had. This banter might have continued, back and forth, for a while. We hadn't yet touched on; the lubes and vibrating eggs, on those racks. Yet, I realized, I should probably... not push it. She was (after all), dressed for a date. I chose for her; The Ultra Thin - a ten pack. Sheepishly... (since I was already there), l also picked up a pack, for myself. I'd figure out, a use for them.

"Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it," she smiled.

"No worries. Uh... It was my pleasure. You're gonna text me, and let me know how it all worked out, ok?"

Her genial laughter followed her, as she walked away. Sheesh... the people you meet at these stores, right? I picked up my toothpaste and walked to the cash... while passing, that wide screen television. Who buys, a TV, in a store selling English cucumbers?

Obviously... quite a few people. There was only one left.


...............................................
So...
Would you buy a TV, or other electronics at a grocery store?
Y'all wanna talk about: condoms and meeting random people in stores? 🤔


Note: A F F is chopping and deleting words. Please be patient. . .
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41 Comments
Niagara Falls... Glass Globes... and Crystal Rams... 🤗
Posted:Apr 3, 2019 1:20 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:09 am
21592 Views
Note: A F F is still chopping words. Please be patient.

They were poor. They had been, on only one family vacation... ever. It was, the only gift, her father, had given her... that she had always, cherished. The dolls and toys and whatever else there might have been... had disintegratted or... just, been thrown away. I held that glass, snow globe, carefully... in my tiny hands. I was captivated, by its beauty.

"Niagara Falls", is what it said; I would learn, much later. I was three and a half years old. I marveled, at that smooth glass. I peered into the ephemeral world, it held within. I stared, as those tiny sparkles of white snow, fluttered about, so gently.... sooo slowly. They took forever... to rest, before I could shake, that glass bulb, again.

When that globe, slipped from my fingers... I didn't know what to do. I ran to her. She ran back with me. She fell to her knees, when she'd seen, what I'd done. She didn't speak. She didn't say a word. She buried her hand in her face, clutching one broken piece of glass and cried. I'd never seen my mother, cry before. I cried along side her. Leaning my head against her shoulder. I didn't know why, but I felt, as if my world... had just crumbled.

I recall speaking. "I.m sorry mommy." She looked at me and held me, as tears streamed down her face.

Many year's later, my oldest , came running to me, with something in her hands. "What's this daddy? It looks like a goat. Is that what it is?"

It was indeed - a ram. A miniature crystal ram; that my mother, had given me, for my birthday. It symbolized who I am; an Aries. I looked at my and smiled. "Yes it is."

I took it, from her little fingers and put it, in a place I knew, she'd never reach. Those small things (once broken), just can't be put, back together. Not even with duct tape.

It's nice, to be able to hold memories, in your hands, isn't it? They feel real... when you can touch them.


.................................................
So...
- . What are the most cherished, gifts that hold memories for you; or are pictures and videos more important?
- . Have you, or someone else, ever broken anything that has meant something special?


Note: A F F website, is still chopping and deleting words. Please be patient. . .
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30 Comments
We Have All Done It.... Some Of Us Just Do Not Say It... 🤗
Posted:Apr 1, 2019 1:07 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:55 pm
23625 Views
Note: A F F website is still chopping words and numbers. Please be patient.

This past weekend, I went downtown, to an art exhibit. The artist, was displaying his works, of abstract expressionism . more of a... neo cubist kinda guy. I stood there, looking one of his larger pieces. It hung, brightly lit, against the backdrop, of a white wall. I thought, perhaps... if I moved, further back... and squinted - I might understand it. From the shadows (of the gallery), walked a stylishly attired woman and her handsomely dressed young . They posed beside me, in silence and focused their eyes, on mural. After a minute or so, the young , turned to his mom and remarked.

"Wow. 's really, fucked !"

His mother looked down the little , nodded her head and agreed. "Yes it is."

Then... they moved on. I was stunned. Not the was wrong. piece of art, was... truly fucked . I was surprised, this mom, had allowed her , to express his point of view, with such profane language. I thought, the word 'fuck' - was reserved, for adults only. Did I miss a memo?

There are roughly... o.ne hundred seventy o.ne, thousand (1.000), words in the Oxford Dictionary. Most people, only have a vocabulary, of 20,000 words. Yet... there is this one word, everyone knows; some people abuse and some people... never use. word is - "Fuck".

Is it the most, vulgar word in the English language? "Fuck" is the only English word, can be used as a; noun, pronoun, adjective, verb, adverb and preposition. "Fuck", can be used, in almost every, informal situation, to express, any emotion. Change the tone of your voice, surround "it" with other words - and you can use " word" , anywhere. I found, least 27, different ways, to adapt it. I've listed those examples, in my comments. Did I miss any?

I never used " word" , when I was raising my daughters; yet... they know it. times, they've sprinkled it about, all around me. How the fuck, did happen? I never utter " word" , in business. Except of course, to describe the sales deal, just completely... fucked . With close friends, I might blurt "it" out, from time to time; to punctuate a point. Especially, when my point, is fucking right! Here, on my blog.... I'll try to avoid it, completely. And yet sometimes... well, I don't give a fuck.

It's a small... but powerful and versatile word.

As I left art exhibition, I passed stylish lady and her y.oung . I smiled politely, nodded and said hello. I half-expected , to turn around and say...

"What the fuck do you want?"


..................................................
So...
Are you offended, when you hear, or see the word "fuck", written; or do you also use "it", when you speak and write?
Did your patents swear; or did you ever swear, in front of your ? 😱😁


Note: A F F is still really fucked ... chopping and editing words. Please be patient. . .
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75 Comments
What The Flock Is Your Problem? 😱..... 3
Posted:Mar 29, 2019 5:07 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:26 am
22615 Views
Hello everyone. Another Friday is here, and so is - this regular feature of mine. Complaining never helps, right? Well... it might, make you feel better and relieve some stress. Here's your chance to vent. I ready to listen.

Do you recall m.e mentioning, the crazy potholes, here in this town? Believe it or not... the city is filling them. Of course, for every one they fill... three more pop . Is Montreal the worst city on the planet, for potholes?

Oh... here's an interesting thing. Last weekend, my buddy, FrankeeZee and I watched - as a brand new, pickup truck sank, in the middle, of a frozen lake. T.hat was fun! I guess... I could bitch, about the fact I didn't, think of filming. T.hat video, on U Tube - would have, gone viral. Damn ...!

So... I really have nothing, to complain about. 😶


Anyway... I.m not getting laid tonight, or could you tell? And I.m not going anywhere.

Bring it on... I am listening!
...................................................
So...
What the fluck is your problem?
And.... If you ain't got nothin' to complain about... How was your week? Whatcha been doin' ?


The pineapple vodka slushies, are in the freezer. The Irish coffee is freshly brewed, and I have chips and onion dip. T.hat's something new! 😁 Help yourself. And someone just reminded me, not all of you like sweet drinks. I have a melon lime.. rum thingy. Of course I also have all of those, without the alcohol added.

Please don't jiggle the handle on the toilet. It's slightly fucked .
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Here's a link to story I posted, about watching a truck sink into the lake. You might find it fun.
FrankeeZee The Weather Girl and Thin Ice


  Note: A F F is deleting words. explains the use of 'periods' in some words. Please be patient. . .

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35 Comments
This Whole Thing... Started Off... As A Dare! 😱
Posted:Mar 28, 2019 12:20 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 10:51 am
20900 Views
In a few days, it will have been a ... since I first created my profile name and logged on, to A F F . It's wild, how time flies, isn't it? This whole experience here... started out, as a dare. And a very scary , !

Photography is a passion of mine and I've been on . Gram, for many . I've met some great people there. Let's just skip, some of the details. Eventually...

... I started texting and sexting, back and forth, with this woman, who lived in Jersey. We used 'Private Messages', on Gram. On this very day, last ... she sent - very explicit, naked pictures of herself. Well... to say I was shocked and excited... would have been an understatement.

It was, a totally unexpected thrill. Then there was the panic, soon set in. She asked , for my pics. I had none. I realized, she had shown 'hers' , so obviously... I had to show her 'mine'. I hemmed and hawed, back and forth with her. I tried to tell her, I wasn't prepared. my camera was shit. I didn't know, how to take the pics. I was shy. Until, she simply texted ...

"Paul... I dare you... lol... I know you want to!"

She knew , pretty well! The next few days, were spent with butterflies, in my stomach, as I planned my photoshoot. I'd compare my stress level, to of some of the biggest, corporate meetings, I've ever, had to prepare for. Talk about being nervous! I'd never done anything, like before. Can you believe it?

In a few days, I was prepped and ready. It was... the most exciting... set of pictures, I had ever taken, in my life. I realized my 'inner exhibitionist', finally... had an outlet. My legs, were actually shaking. I won't get explicit, in describing my excitement level. I'll just say this - my 'little friend' ... wasn't camera shy. He did a rock solid job!

I'll always recall, the day, I emailed them, to Jersey lady. I was soooo nervous. I couldn't think straight. I was work, when I sent them. ... only tripped out, even more!

The details, of what happened next, are a little blurry. Evidently, she loved the pics. Then she texted with a challenge, I'll never, forget.

"Paul... IG is not the place for you. Why don't you join a sex site? You can get your kink on, over there and have a great time."

She sent me her suggestions, for adult sex sites and one of them... was - A F F. The rest is... as they say... history.

I still keep in touch, with the lady from Jersey. She sends me previews, of her her erotic stories, which I consume... willingly. I've been having, quite a bit of fun here, on A F F. Yet grateful to person, for this whole experience. lady, from Jersey... and her dare. Who says Gram is boring? Not !


.....................................................
So...
How did you start with A F F and what prompted you to do so?

My very first post here, was the story, of how I connected with my IG Jersey friend and sent her my naked pics, while I was at work... You might find it a fun read...
Caught Naked At Work


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When I'd post to IG.. I might post an angled shot, like this ... .A 'think piece' , as they say... lol . .
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37 Comments
Mirrors Never Lie... Or Do They? 🤔
Posted:Mar 27, 2019 12:54 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2020 11:05 am
21856 Views
It was Saturday afternoon and my usual provisions provider was crammed with irritable shoppers scrambling about. Are Saturday’s the worst day of the week to visit these types of stores? Possibly, but especially if you're not fond of crowds; I’m not.

I waited patiently at the checkout line as the elderly, grey haired man in front of me hunched over and reached into his basket. His trembling hands placed a can of tuna on the rubber conveyor. As he glanced at me our eyes met and I could tell; he didn't like crowds either. I watched as he pulled out a quart of milk, a loaf of white bread, then a can of beans and two bananas. Finally, he placed a small jar of peanut butter on that moving belt. The cashier’s register flashed a number and she announced the total.

The grey haired man searched for his wallet as she tapped her fingers against her arm and waited. He thrust his hands into his pockets again and then again, as if magically his wallet would appear; it didn't. He looked at her meekly with a helpless look of resignation.

"We'll put all this away for you sir. When you come back with your wallet, it'll be here waiting for you, ok?"

The grey haired man was visibly embarrassed yet it was panic that gripped his throat as he stuttered; "I... I live a ways away. I won’t be able to get back here before you’re closed."

The people in back of me grew restless as they glanced side to side for an escape to another ‘cash’. The cashier had already pushed his items aside. And that’s when I spoke up.

"I'll pay for it."

The grey haired man tried to refuse my help but I wouldn’t listen. By the time I'd paid, tears had filled his faded grey eyes and he'd shaken my hand and thanked me a dozen times. As he slowly turned away, he clutched that bag of food and draped it carefully over his shoulder. It was snowing outside as he tugged on his woollen hat, put on his gloves and shuffled slowly out the door. I watched as he disappeared into those swirling flakes of white.

It dawned on me that no one ever plans for it. Everyone denies it and then before you realize it – time has blazed by. Mirrors never lie; they reflect exactly what you want to see in them. When I look into one, I see the mind of a young man trapped in a face that’s not mine. The wrinkles around those eyes belong to someone else. Grimly I wondered what if - something were to happen to me? I live alone. How long would it take for them to find me? Not that I’m planning on leaving or going anywhere; no one ever does. It just happens.

We don't plan to be alone and grow old… or do we?

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So...
Do you feel your age; physically and mentally?

Bonus Question: When do you shop for your food?


I guess, I could also have asked; How important is it, for you, not to be alone? But 's a harsh question, isn't it? . .
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48 Comments
FrankeeZee... The Weather Girl... and Thin Ice 😁
Posted:Mar 25, 2019 1:14 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 10:55 am
20754 Views
This past weekend, the freezing rain, had turned to sleet and then... into blowing snow. It was spring... in Montreal. I stood there, waiting, in my driveway. It was covered, in a couple of inches of slush, by the time *FrankeeZee drifted in... sideways. His Jeep, barely missed me and doinked, my green, recycle bin. "Good job!"... I thought. FrankeeZee opened the door and jumped out, laughing. "Hey Paul. was close, huh? YOU drive! I've got a blog deadline to meet."

I hopped into the driver's seat. I loved, driving his Jeep. You're sitting high; clear view of the road and four wheels to pull you along. Who doesn't like driving a Jeep?

"So... Where wanna go?" I asked, as FrankeeZee, buckled in and opened his laptop.

"I don't know. Someplace quiet. How's about, uh... by the lake? I do my best writing down there. I gotta post my blog, by 4 o'clock. 's my time. I.m on a new . I.m posting the weather, from cities around the world and then, I give travel tips. And I upload, a bunch of naked pics, of the women, from each city. It's fricken wild!"

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked." And shit, works for you? "

" know Paul, I've cracked the top 50 bloggers list. Yesterday, I moved another spot. Actually... everyone did. The number one, top blogger, left... on maternity leave."

I looked at FrankeeZee... and blinked, again.

It only took a few minutes... and we were down by the lake. There seemed to be, a lot of commotion, about a hundred yards from shore. I noticed a gaggle, of a couple of dozen people, huddled out on ice. FrankeeZee and I, piled out. We walked onto the lake. In the dead of winter, ice might be three feet thick. In the spring.... well, it melts pretty quickly, but we were still safe. They usually have all, the ice fishing huts, moved off the lake this time of . And all of them were gone... save for one... lonely cabin.

Right next to it, was what looked like a Ford F150 - with it's front end, partially submerged in the ice. There was a tow truck, on shore and the driver, was dragging the 'towing cable ', on his back. Trudging as quickly as he could, towards, slowly... sinking... truck.

"Well... Paul... guy, is fucked!" And just, as FrankeeZee spoke, the truck lurched forward. The crowd gasped. The , who were playing, screamed. And the owner of the truck, looked like he was about, to have a heart attack.

The towing cable wasn't long enough. I could see, the tow truck driver, making frantic calls on his cell. At moment, the TV crew and the 'Weather ' showed ... just in time. They filmed, as the truck dipped and broke through the ice. It slowly... slipped into the deep, murky waters, of the lake. A large hiss of air and a gurgle, marked the moment. The crowd groaned. The cheered and clapped... and the owner of the truck...? Well...he didn't look too good.

FrankeeZee and I watched as the Weather , made her report. He poked in the ribs and whispered...

"Paul... Is she or what? She'd never do it. But if I could convince her to live cam, naked... on my weather blog, my watchers would go thorough the roof."

I yanked FrankeeZee's arm and we made our way back to his Jeep and sat down. "Well... was interesting, wasn't it? I said.

" know Paul... There's a lesson to be learned here. Don't drive, your Ford F-150 on mushy, spring ice ! Yeah... guy learned the hard way. "

" Hey Frankee... by the way... it's 4:30 ... You missed your deadline.

" Ahh... Paul, it doesn't matter. I got to meet the Weather ... and we got to watch a truck sink, into a lake. Who's seen ?"

He was right!

"Paul... You should write about this, in your blog. It'll be quick and simple. And... there's a moral, to the story. It'll be a heck, of a lot better, than - 'Sex With a Domme', post you did the other day. I read it. You are.. one... fucked , little puppy Paul. You let Lynn... do all stuff to you?"

I looked FrankeeZee and nodded.

" Hey Paul... think Lynn has a friend? "


......................................................
So...
Do you procrastinate and the price or are you on time, with life's deadlines?

Bonus Question: Are there have any signs of spring, in your part of the world?

*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun

Here is a link to my post - the story FrankeeZee is referring to.
Sex With a Domme Way More Fun Than Toast and Jam


Note: The A F F website is still, dropping and chopping words. Please be patient. . .

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40 Comments

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