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AgoraCosmopolitan Dating

The Language of Empowerment pt1  

CandExo 47M/53F
1 posts
4/13/2021 5:44 pm
The Language of Empowerment pt1


You and I, like any human beings, have an urgent need relate authentically each other. An actual authentic relationship recognizes and speaks from the center of my being the center of your being. This happens the moment we begin relate one another, seeing both our own, and the others real intrinsic value, while refraining from passing our less than judgements regarding the varied and diverse ways of expression of another's sense of value, the quicker we will build the trust, honesty, love and integrity that comes with and is necessary for an authentic relationship happen.

The truth is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, our true intrinsic value is our spirit and its inherent capacities of knowing, loving and willing. Value, is very important from the human perspective, the higher we percieve somethings value, the better we treat it, creating a value hierarchy. In all creation, there is nothing of greater value than the human spirit, this is due spirits transendant nature; as spirit develops its capacities in the human body, our awareness and desire increase, as awareness and desire increase, so does our striving for greatness.

Mutual recognition of our intrinsic value enables us relate in such a way were we each give priority the needs of the other, rather than our own needs, it's altruistic and speaks the duty of service. We can and do relate in a myriad of other non-authentic ways, but there all just variations of a single self-serving theme: we each give priority, however subtly, our own percieved needs over the needs of the other. When present in a relationship, this kind of entrenched egotism, negates authenticity and gives rise the manipulation, exploitation, competition and the mutual search for dominance.

In non-authentic relationships we each seek power and we use the power that we do have simply hold onto what power we have, we do not use the power that we do hold to serve others without some form of return in exchange, we fail to see our of privelege and the point of power; simply put, authentic relationships are based on love and non-authentic relationships are based on power.

The process of relating authentically is an authentic dialogue where the goal is achieve ever greater feelings of and degrees in, sense of self, voice and validation. The intention of such a dialogue is achieved as we build feelings of love, trust and intamacy for each other, leading more openess and honesty. In addition trusting that by being honest and vulnerable, we can openly exchange ideas, share emotions and increase our levels of awareness and activism, further creating an environment of safety and security. By listeng without critizism and preconcieved judgements, others begin feel they can genuinely express themselves people without condemnation, this increases there sense of voice and self esteem, as well as validates and empowers sense of worth.

Social validation is part of the sustaining power necessary in authentic relationships and actually releases dopamine chemically into the body, making us both physically and psycologically healthier and happier, it's a cornerstone to authentic relationships. Having an authentic dialogue that is also socially validating encourages service and altruism, the next step we take is learning how to vindicate our thoughts and feelings in a way that isn't hurtful to others while using right relationship language. This is more difficult in non-authentic realationships in part because non authenticity fills only its needs, in those instances, being vulnerable simply leads to attempts at control, an abuse of power, increased confusion or depressed effect and feelings of invalidation.

The trademark of relational authenticity is a sincere, unselfish love, an altruistic love that makes the other the end goal of the relationship, an unwillingness or inability to feel vulnerable also makes any love connection half-hearted at best. When we see people as they truly are, as spiritual beings, we will have an easier time looking past the undeveloped capacities that limit their spirit and cause our judgements. Another trademark of relational authenticity is the ability to facilatate the empowerment of others. While social validation is true empowerment in and of itself, it contains an array of empowerment dynamics; chief among them is emotional empowerment, which happens when an intense emotional experience takes place and we lose our true center, we become ego centered and the ego chooses sides. If we fail to self-analize and don't see all sides, we can seek retrabutive vindication as validation for percieved injustices, and only those that can fully understand the dynamic can empathize and validate.

The key is turning the true empowerment of social validation into dialogue that emphasizes proper personal validation methods, using right relationship language as the means of finding vindication, voice and value, that's the goal of authentic dialogue and key to the sustainability of authentic relationships. When the listener doesnt't judge, just actively listens, they empathize and understand more, but the goal isn't just to mimic the feelings or responses back or sypathize with the plight by jumping into anothers emotional box. The goal is to understand as much as we can of the others position and with empathy, generate responses from a different objectional position than the other, that can empower them to take action in a positive direction from there current position.

The knowledge and implementation of what is appropriate for the development of human potential, the empowerment of others and the transendence of human spirit is justice. Love and justice go together: love provides the motivation to serve another and justice provides the moral reasoning and knowledge necessary, for the proper and efficient implementation of this motivation. Our motivation and intentions determines the force of power that we bring to relationships, though there are other forms of power that we use to either empower or subvert spirits capacities; power alone is neither good or evil, it's intention and motivation behind its use that reveals authentic morality. When power is used to maintain power, control and status, or to subvert the capacities of spirit, it's a misuse of power.

When we feel empowered, we can manage our emotions, we can act because we have an internal focus of control. Having power means to have a sense of control, there are many different kinds of power dynamics within all relationships. The structure of power can be seen as various forms of contstraint on human action, but also that which makes action possible; power is potential energy consumed over time and has the ability to influence people and their decisions, it's a knowledge imperative. The dimensions of power are: constraint and enablement, action energy potential and the knowledge imperative.

The kind of power I'm speaking about can be defined as: organized and intelligently directed knowweldge, an organized effort that tranasmutes desire into its physical equivalent, when the organized efforts of the individual are combined with others in a socailly validating way, the potential of a mastermind support group becomes possbile. It's the power of authenticity and loving kindness that comes from the language of empowerment.

Alternatively, non-authentic relationships also exist when knowledge is faulty or incomplete, or we lack the motivation to act on our knowledge, that leads to a suppression of desire; can make us uncomfrotable exercsing our power, even giving it up and not initiating independent action. Our knowledge of what is faulty or incomplete can stem from honesty, trust or other issues, it can also be simple lack of awareness. A lack of will, desire or motivation, usually speaks to a lack of empowerment and validation, in addition to possible safety and security concerns and can even rasie autonomy and responsibility questions. In any event, authentic relationships eleminate knowledge deficits and increase our willingness to facilitate empowerment for others and share in activism and community, more improtantly authentic relationships help reduce the entrenched egotism that permeates non-authentic relationships.

Much of our entrenched egotism comes from social conditioning or scripting and includes our own perception of the sum of our experiences. In general, societies follow certain moral codes of conduct and the individuals in that society are judged in accordance to that moral code. If your within that code, you are deemed worthy, if not, you are rejected. Fortunately, moral codes like truth are progressive; any law, code of conduct or doctrine that limits, devalues or attempts to supercede the value of the human spirit needs to be swept into the world. When personal power and self worth are not encouraged, we come believe power and love can't co-exist. This is far from true. Power can be used create and establish justice.

Justice provides the condition under which love can flourish, love can be born in the absence of justice. Yet, it cannot endure in the face of continuing injustice. So the moral use of power is the pursuit of justice, hence the recent sucess and moral high ground of the pursuit of social justice and human rights. When we live in fear or become afraid of our power, we don't feel safe or loved. We learn accommodate and acquiesce power others. This lack of self-responsibility creatively feeds into sociaties perceptions of conduct; emotional empowerment becomes the way we approach validation and vindication, but this binds us to roles of victim-blame<b> games.

</font></b>Only by using the language of empowerment can we respond in reassuring and loving ways that validate, empower and encourage others to do so in our own exchanges with them. The next step is to affirm the belief that we are spiritual beings, that mind and body are the vehicles of spirit; that we aren't our thoughts, feelings or roles but by building an awareness of how our attachments to and investments in those aspects of ourselves can alter our views of what is ascribed, just or pertinent when finding a productive way to vindicate and quench our need for validation of feelings, thoughts and wants, while gaining understanding and awareness of our perceptions of reality.

Situations that affect our attachments to and investments in roles and relationships can create misperceptions which can lead to conceived or perceived irrational, illogical and reactive thoughts and feelings, creating or increasing uncertain, insecure and uncomfortable feelings that compound confusion. The confusion comes from, the perception of our subjective realities interpretation of objective reality when we subjugate our spirit to roles, attachments and investments. When thoughts are on role instead of in role, investments and atachments follow. With the distinction of our spirit from mind, we start to see we're not our thoughts and also recognize the effect our thoughts have on our feelings in influencing our being and behaviour.

Validate feelings as an expression of thought and recognize that the feelings of a situation are shaped by thoughts; while our circumstances aren't us, our actions reveal the current state of our spirit and our thoughts influence our circumstance. When we seek to improve ourselves thorugh self-analysis, we attack the disharmony in our heart and stop fighting aganst the effect from without. This allows us to find common ground through same thinking, so people can deal with their feelings, raher than just fight against circumstance. When we recognnize that invalid thoughts produce inaccurate feelings, it builds awareness of the imperative to acquire language that builds trust, knowledge and awareness so we can get to the heart of understanding and articulating accurate, genuine feelings.

There is always a gap in time between stimulus and response where our choice resides. If you don't want to be uncomfrortable, then see less than feelings as action signals, telling us to change our perceptions and or our procedures. Doing so allows us to transcend our discomforts and produce solutions. When we see suffering as the effect a wrong thought in some direction, we're given the ability to see its purifying benefits. Empowered with loving kindness, we become the key that opens the door to unity. Loving kindness builds trust and breeds compassion, integrity and honesty. It distinguishes purity from impurity and demands selflessness of the selfish, ensuring that what we truly can be, is revealed to us.

Love is acceptance plus concern, acceptance without concern is tolerance, concern without acceptance is conditional love. Authentic love is uncondotional. That is not to say that relationships and intimacy do not require boundaries; acceptance, concern and boundaries are the dimenions loving kindness. Boundaries ensure both mutual respect and happiness in all parties. Concern shows that we matter, are important and that we relate, and acceptance helps us realize the reality of a situation by recognizing the process, conditions and dynamics , not always postive, without attempting change it, protest or leave. Having boundaries assures we respect the level of authenticity according the level of intimacy and lets us explore intimacy safely and securely.

Loving kindness is at the core of the language of empowerment. It is the actuated expression of the value of the human spirit, both ways, the giving and receiving because that is what actuated spirit is.

Authenticity as I relate it you is not just regarding the accurate perception of reality, but also a critical understanding of what reality actually is. This is where perspective and the true nature of authentic relationships comes into and the notion of validity comes from; where valid means fitting the actual reality and different perspectives offer alternative perceptions, widening the reality, adding certainty about what choices are right. Morality then is choosing higher value things as an end goal, a value system or hierarchy where things of lower value are given up in exchange for things of higher value. Immorality is therefore the betraying of the values system by confusing the ends and means.

When we have an accurate knowledge of what is happening in a situation, it paints a clearer picture make decisions and determine direction. When empathic, thoughtful and aware people give their perceptions and perspectives and we also self-analyze our ego-entrenched duality issues, then we will have a better guide for what is right for us and others in any given moment. Authenticity then, is the declaring of rights, feelings, intentions, or actualizations in a way that empowers our voice, position and perspective, in addition an ability respect the boundaries of others regarding the levels of intimacy and authenticity they want receive; the language of empowerment shows us how make declarations assertively, positively, compassionately and with an empathy that enables others do so as well.

For a true understanding of what is real and actually happening take place, we need build our awareness through both self and objective analysis; our subjective reality is a combination of objective critiques and self reflections, hence the need for like-minded support groups and mentoring programs. This is also why early scripting is hyper-critical for and youth because once a spirit is actuated, (aware of itself), it begins to expand on its sense of self. This is done by the synergizing of both the external and internal environments as much as possible with the least amount of cognitive dissonance. If our continuous social scripting doesn't conform to reality, differs from our thoughts, or doesn't bring out the most of our spirit's capacities, then our spirit is conditioned to think it isn't even part of the body, allowing the being to develop its awareness and validation through a more ego-centered, mind/body perspectives.

By having authentic relationships where we utilize the language of empowerment to build, not break, we create sustainability and encourage spirit's diverse and individual journey through reality. This helps create conditions that inspire unity in diversity and fosters same thinking. Thoughts are things and they create our feelings and believing in or subscribing to either for too long, whether good or bad, real or imagined, accurate or inaccurate, adds to the enforcement of or conformity in our feelings and mental dwellings, leading to an abrogation or uniformity of them by the mind. Thoughts are the engine that powers our desires and fears, its our feelings that come from and spring out of our thoughts and conditionings that helps sustain our cognitive dissonance. Our thinking is the abstract force that powers the actual action we put into effect. Action itself is the empowerment of or control over the environments latent power potential of choice; to choose is to move action towards the direction of some intention.

Moral development then, is a process of changing our thinking towards the actual reality and coming further into alignment with the thinking and choosing of the higher value over the lower. When we're able, for any reason, to see things as coming from the same source, yet each thing having its own perspective and means of expression, we begin to realize the true intention of creative intelligence; to build knowledge and awareness of itself and to express it. This can only be done by an open, objective and realistic analysis of itself, by us, that leads to a transcendence of spirit in us. The goal of creating and sustaining authentic relationships then, is to enhance perspective and thereby our perception and increase our ability to choose the higher value in decision making and to increase the levels of love and intimacy in relationships.

Fear is nature's defense mechanism for fight or flight. In order to rise above this instinct and become supernatural, we must learn to face our fears and allow them to pass through us. Then we will see that we are supernatural beings because only we will remain, our fears will have been transcended. An authentic relationship centered on loving kindness provides the security of position and safety of expression that enables us to explore boundaries and empowers the desire to relate to the facing of fears, eagerly facing challenges as opportunities to encourage, enable, engage, transcend and build our awareness.

It's our ego's attachment to roles, investments and other self-gratifications that creates or enhances our fears, jealousies, anger and other less than feelings and actions that limit us and our relationships, increases our overall depressed effect and feelings of dependence and contributes to overall relational disunity. Cultivating altruism and compersion in our relationships cultivates inter-independence in people and minimizes the need for power, control and attachment to roles and investments by the ego, it reduces possessiveness and the need to compete. We do require roles to function in society and while it's natural for us to invest differently in them according to our attachments to them, we must remember we are not them and given the multiple roles and interactions of people according to their various role attachments and investments, this is not easy to do, but to lose our fears and our ego, or at least face and embrace them, is to gain power and control over loss, change, abandonment, scarcity, consumption, the unknown and our ego itself.

Love is the answer, intimacy the prescription; our roles and there investments exist within all relational, cultural frameworks and boundaries. It's our ego's hold on them, and its shaping by cultural standards, that enables our entitlement of position and of privilege take over and further habituates traditional, emotional responses as ways of relating, thinking or feeling. While all feelings are natural, normal and deserving of our validation, proper vindication of our thoughts, feelings and actions is supernatural and requires us examine and acknowledge the impact of our ego and actions on the body and mind, on thoughts and feelings, on roles and investments and in right relationship actions and dialogue. True emotional empowerment is not ego-based; it's principally-centered, it's empathetic, intimate, firm and seeks loving kindness. It doesn't enable entitlement of position, of privilege, or perpetuate culturally traditional, habitual, emotional responses. It seeks truth, justice and the efficient use of power as a loving response.

Empowerment dynamics aren't static, there charge can change because interactions are always in flux in our environment and though our own psychology is an important part of the process, its our interactions with the environment that plays the most critical role in shaping our sense of self and feelings of worth. There are reasons for this: our own psychology is made up from our sense of self, and that in part is shaped by the selves interactions and conditionings within the environment, also and more importantly, while we may strive for and even achieve consistency in our psychology, the entire environment and the nature of our interaction with it are constantly changing. Using the language of empowerment instilled with empathy and loving kindness enables a synergy between our intentions and actions that builds integrity through Constance of intention and action in the face of change.

In addition creating an increase in our sense of purpose and autonomy, we feel an increase in knowledge and awareness of both our self and others when we practice the language of empowerment, it truly empowers because it taps into spirits core, the source of all our power. Power is measurable and is both visible and invisible, and its always being felt. Extensions of power are: wealth, property, energy sources, institutional organizations and personality, including roles, both social and class. To have a positive power psychology allows the individual to thrive and humans to flourish, for the individual power has the ability to influence his environment and condition through actions. Our sense of power is connected to our feelings of empowerment, by learning to facilitate empowerment for others, we encourage them to use their power to build, acquire knowledge and awareness of value and with their actions, acquire control over choice and the environment.

The language of empowerment has a threefold dynamic when applied to authentic relationships: a commitment by the individual to be open to seeing themselves through a process of self-reflection, application and attainment. A support group of like minded friends, family and or social organizations and institutions that facilitate empowerment and encourage self-reflection, expression and feedbac And finally, a role mentoring teacher/seeker relationship paradigm, where either role can be interchanged, exchanged or reversed, depending on the situation, as part of an education and development program of mutual self-growth, knowledge and intimacy building in authentic relationships.

In its essence, empowerment is a process to gain control over social interactions, our own use of power, and our pursuit of social justice. The language of empowerment demonstrates the power of words to inspire activism, inclusiveness and build unity. Defence mechanisms hinder authenticity and complicate relationships. They're mental manoeuvres done either consciously or unconsciously that distort, falsify, or mislead the pursuit of truth to protect ourselves from real or perceived threats and fears, pain, discomfort or other less than feelings. The by products of this mechanism are lying, backbiting, justification and the use of bait and switch techniques, plus emotionally empowered rationalizations. When the ego gets involved in the defence of perceived threats, the mechanism can project in different ways and can assume /parent role responses, victim/persecutor/saviour<b> games </font></b>or forms of static action/inaction paradigms of repression, denial, suppression and projection. All of which simply directs others away from our true fears and insecurities.

Static action is when our muscle tension increases but the joint angle remains unchanged so that no mechanical work is done, When the muscle that is our brain in under tension or stress and the direction of our actions through intention doesn't change our feelings or the dynamic remains unchanged or worsens, that is static action. Static inaction is when we don't use our available powers to help ourselves or others through stubbornness or other forms of inaction . From the muscular view of the brain we can also see unity as an eccentric action because it opens and lengthens under tension, whereas hermetic actions produce a tightening and closing of the muscle through concentric action. Relationships are an unavoidable and necessary part of life. Interactions present opportunities to experience varying levels of pleasure and pain, it's the level of intimacy we allow into our relationships that magnifies those feelings.

It's now known that the brain is a network of approximately one hundred billion neurons. Every time we have am experience, we create a different neural connection that produces our various emotions. This has positive and negative implications for us. The frequency of having similar experiences increases the strength, efficiency and intensity of the neural connections; the more frequently something happens, the more we know it. By using the language of empowerment and our power of intention, we strengthen the things we empower in others in ourselves and we increase rationality and our emotional resilience, our ability to choose the higher value and to manifest the right action responses that enrich our lives and experiences also increases.

Increasing knowledge in the field of neural science has given us a better understanding of the role our mind plays in shaping our identity and culture. Self-observing profoundly changes the way our brain works. It activates the self-regulating parts of the brain that give us control over our feelings. Observing others or imaging other experiences fires empathic mirror neurons that give us the same value and perception as though we ourselves did that which we observed or imagined. Comparison is part of the human condition; it's how we learn, by observing, comparing, assessing and, if necessary, altering or adjusting our behaviour.

If we prescribe labels or judgments when we compare, we limit our ability to stay out of duality, because labels and judgments are the tools of duality. When we ascribe terms such as good or bad, happy or sad, better or worse, we limit our ability to see through to the end what is to be seen in the moment. This is not to say that making assessments before or after experiencing the moment isn't necessary, but we must remember to absorb the moment fully, objectively and clinically. Actively listening increases our awareness, which allows us to face and pass through the continuum of experience, feeling each moment, and with empathy, learn to choose the higher value,
instead of being prejudiced of the experience and expressing ourselves as less than we are. While we don't want to minimize the revealing power that comparison has on the quickening, strengthening, learning and evolutionary growth processes, we don't want to blur it with prejudgments either. We must recognize how quickly our mind comes to judgments.

Recognizing how quickly we pass judgments reveals the need to predetermine our intention. Science is a process of hypothesis, analysis and conclusion. Our minds need to work in the same scientific manner. We need to determine a framework of intention and when situations present themselves, attempt to apply our determination and then evaluate our effectiveness. This process helps us to be more principally centered in the moment and cultivates an non-judgmental, comparison. When we compare without criticism or harsh labelling, we have more opportunity to see experiences for what they are, chances to grow. Non-comparison is about embracing the power of our own experience and building the curiosity for information that produces empathetic feelings for another's expression of experience.

Our ego is always around. It's a faculty of the mind and while it serves us and keeps us safe at times of perceived threat, it also misinterprets threats based on perceived self-interest, investments, involvements, needs and wants. We must examine our perception of threats to see if our perception is real or imagined. If it is real, we must act in accordance to safety, security and concern. If it is imagined, it's image related and stems from a need to self-serve. It's sure to cause disharmony, distress and disunity. When we self-serve we serve our ego, we can't perceive the real value of the moment, nor can we see the moments for what they truly are. Moments are opportunities to find the higher value and build an awareness of how to use the power of our intention.

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