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Highly informative.
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I have a male friend who claims there are only two things that makes him want to have sex- actual physical stimulation of his genitals, and sexy images. He is in his late fifties, and never been married, never even had a relationship that lasted longer than a few years. Although he claims he's been in love a few times, he doesn't connect any part of that love with sex at all. I tried explaining to him the reasons that make me want sex; in addition to erotic images and physical stimulation, there are the much stronger feelings of desire. I feel that desire from many different emotions: love, happiness, gratitude, contentment, even pride. I communicate through sex, and some of the most erotic experiences of my life have been when I engaged in it with someone I wanted to get to know better. While strolling hand-in-hand through an outdoor festival, sometimes I might look over and catch his eye, share a smile, and want to throw him down right there. If I come home from work to find a freshly mown lawn with flowers specially picked for me, I want to crawl into his arms right there. I can even remember moments with my ex when I watched him being so tender with our children that I couldn't wait to put them to bed and show him how I felt about him. This isn't necessarily only about love - I've only been "in love" once, but I've felt that way many times in different situations about men I wasn't in love with. My friend claims it's a boy-girl thing, and that "men" don't feel that way about women. I disagree; I don't thing it's a male-female thing; rather I think it's learned (or unlearned, as the case may be) behavior from growing up. Am I deluded? Am I the only one who thinks this way?
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