AgoraCosmopolitan Dating
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| Blogs > tresennui > Succumbing to Curiousity |
I agree. Let's Meet!
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I agree. Let's Meet!  A recent conversation with a chatroom acquaintance brought up the discussion about reluctance to give out information before meeting. Because the woman he was planning to meet wouldn't give him personal contact info and he was unable to let her know he was running late (for a very legitimate reason). She was then under the assumption she was being stood up, and left before he arrived, 40 minutes late. I told him I would never agree to meet someone who I hadn't had a conversation with off of A F F, on a personal email/IM, text or phone call. I also insist on receiving a face picture (current). If someone refuses, I will not agree to meet. With the ability to IM and email on cell phones I don't always find it necessary to give a phone number, but I always make sure that we can get a hold of each other if anything happens on the way to meet and usually discuss that when making plans to meet. Agreeing to meet should mean you already like the person and have some level of trust. We all have to take precautions to meet safely, a public venue is always the best choice, make sure you are in a situation you can easily get out of, even it it's just because you misjudged and are extremely bored. But, if you are that worried about their character, so much that you can't even give an email address, why agree to meet in the first place? Presumably, you are hoping to establish a friendship and ultimately a sexual relationship....yes, people do hope to have sex (not necessarily on the first meet). I've been doing the online dating scene many years on A F F and other sites and have no bad stories to report. Not all resulted in a second date or more, but no regrets...some sweet, some sexy and some I look back, nod my head and just have to consider amusing.  Here's a few other blogs I've written relating to this subject: Serial Dating Were You Mislead You Expect What Stood Up [post 3428663] |
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I have only one real rule for first meets: find out what the woman I'm meeting is most comfortable with and go with that. The reality of our world being what it is the simple fact is a woman is taking a greater risk at the first meeting than the man in almost all cases, so the only fair thing to do is find an approach that makes her feel safe and comfortable and do that. Having said that I would expect at least a cell phone number so I can call or text if something comes up, or if nothing comes up to call and say "Hi, I'm here, what table are you at?" or the equivalent. I also prefer a phone conversation between e-mail and meetup. So I guess without having a strict phone call first rule, my preference for that is strong enough maybe I have 2 first meet rules.
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I understand modern technology and all of that but with that comes issues which make me uncomfortable. I do have access to email on my phone and that is the only way to keep in touch with someone from this site. I have no problem talking on the phone but my number has to be blocked. You see, with all these phone apps it is easy to get ones last name. I have nothing to hide but my personal and private information, but I have no intention of ever letting someone know my last name. Not gonna happen and it isnt necessary. When I have a meet, it is understood that will communicate via email if one of us is running late. Or, another alternative, that was suggested by a man I met here a few years ago, was to call the restaurant or bar and ask to speak to the person you are meeting. Most establishments will oblige. For me, this is about safety first and foremost.
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