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Blogs > tresennui > Succumbing to Curiousity |
Let's Talk About
Let's Talk About I recently read a blog by [blog intendadiversion] about after sex communication. Funny how people can expose their bodies and have what many consider the most intimate moments with someone, yet when it comes to talking to each other afterwards they are reluctant to say what's on their minds. A women feels comfortable enough to get naked, have a man go down on her, enter her body, and then won't text or call to ask if he is interested in getting together again if she doesn't hear from him in the number of days she deems appropriate. Same goes for a man. Somethings to ponder regarding this situation: What did you two talk about when you were together before, during and especially after sex? Did you discuss feelings for each other? The desire to see each other again? Talk about things you'd like to do together in the future? Did either of you give any indication that you wanted this encounter to be the beginning of something significant? Did you part as just friends that happened to have sex? I know with FWBs I will hook up one day and not talk for weeks or even months. Even if its a first encounter, the tone has been set that the relationship is casual; therefore, no expectations or obligations. There have been times I haven't heard from someone after we had an enjoyable time and found myself getting slighted pissed off...debating do I want to pursue or not, but them when I really think about it, I have to admit to myself I didn't like them that much and know that I wouldn't be upset if I never saw them again. I think it's often more an ego thing, being "rejected" then really caring about continuing a relationship. Not contacting afterwards if you are not interested is not the nicest thing to do, but sometimes I even find myself doing it. I feel bad telling someone I'm not interested and silence does make an easy statement. I don't always want to answer why...when it's often just a personality thing or that I just wasn't feeling it, even if we did have good sex. Man or woman, if you want someone you often have to take the initiative...even if you've already had each other. |
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I believe communication goes both ways....so yes...a woman should contact a man and not wait. Be upfront and honest, enjoy yourselves, and smile. If you wouldn't mind another encounter, go for it.
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lol... must have been... ohhh yeah!! that good!.. Intimacy and boundaries get more complicated the better time you have.
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Well, its always polite to ask after a short break in activities... "did you have enough orgasms" . I never take yes for an answer On the serious side: The post makes for a good content and conversation but... I'm not a FWB participant but would be very curious what a (any) couple's expectations are with FWB. It does start with 'Friends' and the FWB literally means "sex without commitment". If they did not talk about expectations before hand, I'd have no reason to think they would afterward. But this is the quintessential definition of sex with a 20 year old - either gender. It just plain sucks when the party's are anything over 30. At least the two could pickup on earlier conversations where they were left off before things got hot n heavy. The best conversation may very well be how exhausted the two are. But there are several other subjects given how exposed they are at that moment. In the end, conversation does take two participants (unless you're loco like me) . I'd take it a step further and say if they are not communicating during sex, the two of them left something on the table and just managed to go through the motions. Back to FWB... if it really is suppose to be 'Friends' then why do woman refuse to dial the phone, click the send button or even kick him in the ass. Do friends not call each other just to say hello or did ya hear this on the news? Did women spend 90 years fighting for equality so they can say "hey, he should call me if he wants some"? And, doesn't that suggest "Friendship" was never in the equation for her. Its a two-way street with and without cloths on. And, with all due respect, I think many women simply need to engage. Using more than eye candy as a barometer is such a huge advantage it would tip the tables. Just don't take this in support of men who in general are 'equal culprits'.
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